Every article in the Sunday, November 9th issue of The New York Times Magazine pulled me in, especially the cover story on Frankenstein. 

I'm pretty sure this will hit a paywall, but just in case not...

https://www.nytimes.com/2025/10/31/magazine/frankenstein-guillermo-del-toro-shelley.html

There is so much within the article, but I find this of particular merit (not sure why Frankenstein is in quotes instead of italics, but still...) :

“Frankenstein” is a book about the mystery of creation — but what accounts for its own, this strange and desolate work of the imagination? Mary herself addressed this question in the introduction to the 1831 edition; how did she, a teenage girl who never had a day of formal schooling, “dilate upon so very hideous an idea”? And what accounts for its longevity? Byron and Percy Shelley feel like relics, but Mary’s work is still read, recast, passionately debated. Reportedly the most assigned college text in the United States, “Frankenstein” has been hailed as revolutionary and reactionary, feminist and drearily misogynist. It is interpreted as thinly veiled autobiography, a warning against scientific hubris, a critique of the French Revolution. It has been described as a book about fathers and sons but also might be read as the keenest expression of a daughter’s longing for her mother.

The creature appears in at least 400 films, and this season brings another, “Frankenstein,” from Guillermo del Toro, the Oscar-winning director of “The Shape of Water.” It is the movie he has been trying to make his entire career. “My Everest,” he calls it. “Every movie I’ve done is the training wheels for this one.”

I'm trying to find the right words to describe the way straight men will look so dismissively (or worse!) at women they find unattractive.

As a woman who is less than pretty I have this seen firsthand and it has cut to the bone, but while I own my un-attractiveness (totally) I also feel that men who think and act this way don't value women for their whole selves and that it is on them, not women, to change.

Here are some of the looks I'm talking about:

A flick of contempt: that quick, involuntary eye-sweep that lands on “not worth my time.”

The dead-eyed scan: registers your presence but refuses to see you.

Dismissive inventory: men take stock of your face and body like a bored customs agent stamping “reject.”

The micro-sneer: a split-second curl of the lip that says ugh, next.

Value subtraction: the way their gaze subtracts personhood the instant attractiveness is ruled out.

The invisible-woman glare: a stare that slides right through you, erasing any humanity that isn’t ornamental.

I used to feel like a non-entity the moment I failed the attractiveness test, but I'm just too tired for that anymore. And as a queer person I find that though women can also be very shallow and dismissive of, it somehow doesn't carry the same weight or hurt or societal impact/value. The male gaze has a history and a context that is completely different and far worse and you don't have to be a straight woman to be affected by it.

I've been in my workplace for over 30 years so I've seen a lot, mostly good, but some bad. I have a lot of happy memories, particularly from the 90s and early 00s.

But, just like in middle school (though then was much, much worse), people have felt the need (compulsion?) to say hurtful things you should never say to another person.

One time a friendly man came up to the desk where I worked and said, "Is _ here? She and I talked on the phone a few minutes ago about a book I'm looking for." When I said I was the person he spoke with, his smile dropped and he said, "That's impossible! You sounded so pretty on the phone."

I agree with the critics that it is absolutely dreadful, but I still can't seem to stop watching All's Fair on Hulu. It's eye-gouging a la Oedipus Rex awful and yet I can't wait to see the next episode. What on on Earth is wrong with me?

The cast is full of amazingly talented women (in other projects, that is) yet that only makes everything seem all the worse. Judith Light has a guest appearance in two of the episodes so far and I will always watch anything she is in because she never disappoints me.

Is this what is called hate-watching?

Dictionary

Definitions from Oxford Languages · Learn more

hate-watching

/ˈhātˌwäCHiNG/

noun

noun: hate-watching; noun: hatewatching

1. the activity of watching a television program for the sake of the enjoyment derived from mocking or criticizing it.

   "it was the year that hate-watching became our national pastime"
2. 
   

Time magazine has an interesting article about All's Fair, which can be read here:

https://time.com/7331129/alls-fair-review/

Highlights that speak to me so much they hurt (they especially speak to younger me who would have loved books that reflected my very much hidden identity as a teen):

 from:

The White Guy Dies First: 13 Scary Stories of Fear and Power

Terry J. Benton-Walker, Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Kalynn Bayron, Kendare Blake, H.E. Edgmon, Lamar Giles, Chloe Gong, Alexis Henderson, Tiffany D. Jackson, Adiba Jaigirdar, Naseem Jamnia, Karen Strong, and Mark Oshiro

the first story in the collection: "All Eyes on Me" by Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé

-She couldn’t remember a time she’d actually enjoyed Asher’s touch, and they’d been together for three years now. All through freshman, sophomore, and junior years. He was her first boyfriend, her only boyfriend. Her first everything really. Was that weird? That she didn’t like the feeling of making out with her boyfriend after all this time? Or holding his hand? Or telling him she loved him? Or doing anything intimate at all?

-This wasn’t the first time Helen had seen a stranger and felt weird, confusing things. Sometimes she felt this way when she was watching a film and some beautiful tall actress would waltz onto the screen; uncomfortable feelings would swirl inside, and she’d be overwhelmed by them all. It was so much easier to switch off a movie when it got to be too much—much harder to switch off a person. That didn’t mean she couldn’t try. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to erase the unease. She thought of things that made her truly happy. Like the future and what could come of it.

-The film went on, and the crowd was mostly quiet; that is, until Lee Meriwether appeared as Catwoman. There were some jeers from the crowd, people whistling as the feline bombshell sauntered onto the big screen. Helen had watched this movie more than once, and her reaction was the same whenever Lee came on the screen. She’d feel her heart pick up its pace, causing guilt to rise inside her.

-The one that would start with I want to end things and end with so many unanswered questions, like: Why did complete strangers excite her more than her boyfriend of three years? Why did the thought of kissing other boys instead of Asher make her feel just as uneasy as he did? And why was the idea of kissing girls more appealing? Helen squeezed her eyes shut, wanting to delete that last thought permanently from her mind.

I had another one of my "time traveling" crying jags this afternoon and I wonder why my life was just as challenging back then as now, but I coped better. I think it may be because I compartmentalized then and now every area of life seems to bleed into the other. Every day feels like a horror show and every day may have felt like that back in middle school and my last year of high school, but I had the future back then. I could see past it all. But now, now I am just so jaded it feels overwhelming, even though jaded is probably kind of the opposite of overwhelming.

This was what set off my tears:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsnMjotLgxE&list=RDPsnMjotLgxE&start_radio=1

Then I saw this on another MSM video:

@jesusr-grossmuller6446

3 years ago

every time i hear this song, i get a teary eye, those were the best times of my youth. Now 50, growing up listening to classics song like these will always remain in my heart. Thanks for the great music MSM.....

91

@betonunesfb

1 year ago

YES... I take your words as if they were mine

5

@LisaZinter

1 year ago

I just turned 50& remember this classic MSM video! Still love Gloria Estefan & Miami Sound Machine!

2

I asked AI:

Why do I get so snooty and scoff about mainstream popularlity like James Patterson books but when I find out other people experience the same exact emotions I do other similiar situations I feel better and less alone? How can one group experience make me judgemental and other make me feel comforted somewhat?

This is what AI said:

This is such a thoughtful question—and it speaks to the complexity of how we navigate identity, belonging, and emotional safety.

🧠 What’s Happening Psychologically

1. Judging Mainstream Popularity: A Form of Self-Protection

When you scoff at mainstream books or shows, it might be less about the content and more about what that popularity represents. Mass appeal can feel impersonal, formulaic, or even emotionally shallow—especially if you value depth, nuance, or originality. Critiquing it can be a way of:

• Defining your identity: “I’m not like everyone else.”

• Protecting your emotional world: “My feelings are too complex for something that’s mass-produced.”

• Resisting conformity: “I want to choose what resonates with me, not what I’m told should.”

It’s not snobbery—it’s a defense against feeling unseen or emotionally diluted.

2. Feeling Comforted by Shared Emotional Experience

On the flip side, when someone else expresses the same emotion you’ve felt—especially in a vulnerable or specific way—it’s validating. It says:

• “You’re not alone.”

• “Your feelings make sense.”

• “There’s a place for you in this world.”

This kind of connection is intimate and affirming. It’s not about taste—it’s about truth.

🔄 Why the Contrast?

The key difference is emotional resonance vs. cultural consensus:

• Mainstream popularity can feel like a crowd shouting over your personal experience.

• Shared emotion feels like someone whispering, “I get it.”

One can feel alienating, the other deeply human.

❤️ What This Says About You

You’re someone who craves authenticity—not just in art, but in connection. You want to feel seen, not just entertained. And that’s a beautiful thing.

If you ever want to explore media that’s emotionally rich but less mainstream, or unpack why a certain book or show rubbed you the wrong way, I’d love to dive into it with you. You’re not being difficult—you’re being discerning.

People on the video comments for another version of "Bad Boy" section said things like: