A good cry or two...

I bought Everything Changed seven years ago and it still gets me to every single time I listen. Where is Abra Moore these days? Her voice and her music are too good to not be heard on a regular basis!!!


"Every once in awhile, something's got to break to give," Abra Moore forewarns in the opening track amid a heavenly, uplifting, gorgeously melodic declaration of love. The line foreshadows what awaits on Everything Changed, the most emotionally arresting account of a relationship's rise and fall since Matthew Sweet's 1991 masterwork Girlfriend. Along the way are several irresistibly buoyant should-be pop smashes--"I Do," "Big Sky," and "Shining Star" could all scale the charts--balanced against the more measured melodic grace of "If You Want Me To" and "Taking Chances." The deepest cuts, though, are the straight-shooting piano ballads including the title track and "Family Affair," in which Moore cries out, "Don't take away the one love that matters," her voice quaking with unmistakable heartbreak. --Peter Blackstock


Also unbelievably heart-breaking and quite wonderful is Glen Campbell's brand new album Canvas of a Ghost. It just came out today so I'm still soaking it in and will hopefully be able to capture how good it is tomorrow...

Nostalgia doesn't pay well, but it sure can sound good:)

It doesn't pay to be both an insomniac and next to a computer with an open iTunes account. Last night, for some odd reason, I could not stop thinking about Scoundrel Days, an a-ha album I absolutely loved way back in 1986. I remember everything about it...buying it at my local Sam Goody back when record stores were all over malls, listening to it over and over on my Sony walkman late at night, finding an odd appeal in the forlorn and soulful sounds of songs like "Maybe, Maybe" and "October."

I'm not sorry I bought it. My iPod is slowly becoming a representation of not only current songs I adore, but all of the ones from my past, too. Some of the things I once liked are too dated now to really find fascinating (Miami Sound Machine's "Conga" just doesn't do it for me anymore), but some still sound as relevant as ever (Depeche Mode, Duran Duran, Joy Division...)


When I listened to it for the first time in at least ten years, I felt chills...Scoundrel still does it for me!

This review from allmusic.com's website is the best thing I've seen written about Scoundrel Days:

Review

by Ned Raggett

While not quite as strong as the band's debut, Scoundrel Days is still a-ha succeeding as a marketed "pretty boy" band which can connect musically and lyrically as much as any musical sacred cow. The opening two songs alone make for one of the best one-two opening punches around: the tense edge of the title track, featuring one of Morten Harket's soaring vocals during the chorus and a crisp, pristine punch in the music, and "The Swing of Things," a moody, elegant number with a beautiful synth/guitar arrangement (plus some fine drumming courtesy of studio pro Michael Sturgis) and utterly lovelorn lyrical sentiments that balance on the edge of being overheated without quite going over.

Although the rest of the disc never quite hits as high as the opening, it comes close more often than not. A definite downturn is the band's occasional attempts to try and prove themselves as a "real" band by rocking out, as on "I've Been Losing You" -- there's really no need for it, and as a result they sound much more "fake," ironically enough. Other songs can perhaps only be explained by the need to translate lyrics -- "We're Looking for the Whales" isn't an environmental anthem, and neither is "Cry Wolf," but both also don't really succeed in using nature as romantic metaphor.

When a-ha are on, though, they're on -- "October" snakes along on a cool bass/keyboard arrangement and a whispery vocal from Harket; "Maybe Maybe" is a quirky little pop number that's engagingly goofy; while "Soft Rains of April" captures the band at its most dramatic, with the string synths giving Harket a perfect bed to launch into a lovely vocal, concluding with a sudden, hushed whisper. The '80s may be long gone, but Scoundrel Days makes clear that not everything was bad back then.

Delayed gratification and my Snow Patrol problem:)

These are two Snow Patrol albums I had not been aware of until recently (how I missed them is a mystery!!). And I'm trying so very hard (really, I am!) to be patient and not download them off iTunes onto my iPod Touch. I have to practice self-restraint and delayed gratification even though every single cell inside my body is yearning for them. I haven't been this big a follower of a band's music since the late 80s and very early 90s when I went to at least half a dozen Gloria Estefan and Miami Sound Machine concerts all within a three year period.

I guess the difference this time, though, is that I care a lot less about the people behind the product and more about the gorgeous music they make. I mean no offense to Gloria and her wonderful MSM, but looking back now I realize it was (for me) all about the show and (often, but not always) their lavish productions. Gloria is a very talented performer and emerged as a true survivor shortly after a devastating bus crash almost left her paralyzed, but her music doesn't speak to my heart the way Snow Patrol's does.

"Chasing Cars" (made so famous during the second season finale of Grey's Anatomy) "Cartwheels,"  "Just Say Yes" and "You Could Be Happy" are all songs that have this unbelievably deep and sincere emotional appeal.  For those who like their music happy and upbeat (something you can dance to) Snow Patrol probably is a no no...but for those nights when you feel just a little lonely and need to drown your sorrows just a little bit...

I read about The One AM Radio in the Washington Post on Friday and though I bought it because the writer compared the group to Snow Patrol (I don't hear it, but maybe it's just my ears) I have ended up liking the album (Heaven Is Attached By A Slender Thread) because it's a terrific album in its own right.


The One AM Radio has a soft, chill sound. The Washington Post succinctly puts it best when they refer to the music as having "sweet melodies and sour lyrics." The contradiction (almost adorably catchy grooves with a rather cynical take on love and life) is just amazing!!

The July 25th cover of The New Yorker (called "Wedding Season") is one that truly caught my eye and touched my heart...I only found out about it after reading this:


August 15, 2011

I wept when I saw Barry Blitt’s cover of two brides walking hand in hand across the Brooklyn Bridge (“Wedding Season,” July 25th). The image reminded me of my parents, who were closeted gay women in the nineteen-fifties. They were both teachers, and bravely raised me, their daughter, in our happy but very secretive household. Wedding vows were beyond their realm of possibility or even imagination, but these many years later I still have the intimately inscribed copies of Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet,” which they exchanged in lieu of vows.

Patricia Lambert

Santa Barbara, Calif.

Read more http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/letters/2011/08/15/110815mama_mail1#ixzz1VhJ4npit

Okay, maybe it's because I can't sleep and it's almost one in the morning, but I'm in one of those moods where I feel like I'm really hearing something for the first time even though I've known it for years.

"Kansas City" by Wilbert Harrison. Is it me or is it a really sexy song? Not so much the words (they're pretty unromantic) as the phrasing and the beats and the way the song is sung. I love it when someone sounds like they know exactly where they're going! :)

If you've never heard the song before or you haven't heard it in a while, give it a listen and let me know if it's just me:)

The part I really feel the whammy kick is when Harrison sings "Well, I might take a train. I might take a plane. But if I have to walk..."

Here are some more facts about the song:  read here

The most recent New Yorker (the August 15/22 issue) features an article by Dana Goodyear called "Grub: Eating Bugs To Save The Planet".

read abstract here

It offers up lots of interesting facts, but one of the most compelling (and a convincing argument for possibly consuming insects) is that lobster, shrimp and crabs are all far more disgusting eaters than insects. The former literally scrape the bottom of the barrel (or the ocean, in this case) while insects often feed on lettuce and flowers.

Goodyear references a fascinating 'pamphlet' from 1885, "Why Not Eat Insects?" by Victor M. Holt.

You can read it here!

I'm not saying I'm ready to start eating insects anytime soon (they all freak me out except for bees and butterflies) but the argument for doing so is unlike any I've seen before:)

When I was in college I took a migraine-inducing class called "Being and God." It most certainly wasn't boring and I definitely didn't hate it, but at the age of eighteen I felt I wasn't ready for paradoxes and existentialism and figuring out how God came into existence...I just couldn't accept (without at least trying to think it all through thoroughly) that He Always Was and Is...

Our teacher stood at the podium, small and gentle, a lot like "Sophia" from "Golden Girls," but without the wisecracks. She spoke quietly and wisely and everyone pretty much hung on her every word because she was so fascinating...and old. (I've always been a sucker for the wisdom of elderly people.)

As I turned the pages of The Philosophy Book: Big Ideas Simply Explained some of what we learned came rushing back at me, most of all my least favorite philosophical theory, Pascal's Wager.

The Philosophy Book is actually a pretty good review for people looking to refresh their memory and a great introduction for those new to philosophy.Anyone who is well-versed in this area would probably be just a little bit bored:)

One of my favorite movies ever is the 2004 remake of "Dawn of the Dead" and there is one scene in that flick that is made all the better precisely because of Richard Cheese and his delightful lounge act take on "Down With The Sickness."

The heavy metal band Disturbed also recorded "Down With The Sickness" (in a much more seemingly appropriate ferocious manner), yet (somehow) Cheese's is the one that taps on the absurd cruelity of passing time while being stuck in a mall, surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of zombies.

Once I tracked down Cheese's "Down With The Sickness," I thought I wouldn't care about the other songs, but this guy does things to classic 80s songs like "Relax" and "Hot For Teacher" you wouldn't believe without listening to yourself.

Now, some of the album is possibly offensive to a delicate sense of humor and definitely explicit, but some of this Cheese-y charm actually works on me. Yikes!!

I love this quote...

“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive.”
— James Baldwin

Long before it was used as a song for The Walking Dead last year, "The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine No More" by The Scott Walker Brothers was a big favorite of mine. When I saw the commercial for the then new show on AMC chills ran up my spine, the way they always do when I hear a beloved song I haven't heard in ages. And the chills also ran because I couldn't think of a song more perfect for providing a sneak peek at what would definitely live up to its promising preview.

Before I became a zombie fanatic I never really thought about how the genre could be a set-up (plot-wise) for something far more beautiful: survival.  Whether it's the amazingly good Walking Dead (I especially like the character the very much underrated Laurie Holden plays with such compassion and sadness) or the fabulous short story collection The New Dead, I often find some of the best writing is in the zombie 'cannon.'

Last night I was listening to "Invincible" by Pat Benatar and I realized how appropriate it would be for a scene from a zombie apocalypse survival movie (originally the song was used in the early 80s film The Legend of Billie Jean.) And that it turn made me think of an idea for a short story and I've begun writing my very first piece of zombie fiction, which I'm not sure will be any good, but is screaming to be released from my head and onto paper...guess I'm going to give a try!:)

What's a girl to do if she likes to occasionally read GLBT literature, especially fiction dealing with lesbian issues? Apparently, not much, if what is currently not out is anything to go by...lesbian fiction has always been kind of crappy, especially the kind geared for adults, but at least it was being published and even sometimes actually placed in bookstores and libraries (though the latter not so much.)

When I say "crappy" I'm not just talking about plot and dialogue and character development (or rather, the lack of it) I'm also referring to extremely bad editing and grammar mistakes. I used to wonder (when I'd read anything if it had a lesbian in it) if there was some genetic disposition in lesbians that was responsible for bad writing skills.

Older presses like Naiad were notoriously known for either being unbearably sappy or disgustingly explicit.  There was very little mention of actually dealing with what it's like being gay (not acting on the feelings necessarily, but the feelings themselves) in a society that still has problems with homosexuality, with the romantic yearning and emotional aspects that go with it.

In a short story collection by Natalie Nessus I regretfully just finished reading (sadly, the regret was not because I hated it to end) every character in each story referred to her girlfriend as "lover." I have never been a fan of that word (for straights or gays) unless it's directly connected to book, music or art....as in "I'm a book lover, I'm a music lover. I'm an art lover."

Referring to your significant other as "lover" sounds kind of demeaning and in the gay and lesbian community sounds as it's all about the sex...a stereotype people in committed, loving relationships are constantly having to fight in a world that often doesn't take their love seriously.

Thankfully I have discovered that young adult books are doing a much better job. Teen literature actually seems to grasp the concept that not everyone accepts being gay right away and that liking someone else of the same gender is about far more than physical and sexual attraction. YA understands the pain, the struggle, the need for someone else (even if it's only one person) to comprehend what a gay or lesbian youth is going through.

Some of the sweetest, most heart-breaking novels with lesbian themes (to name a few) are: Annie on My Mind by Nancy Garden, Crush by Jane Futcher and Ash by Malinda Lo. I just started a fun and spunky book called Sister Mischief by Laura Goode that isn't exclusive to GLBT themes, but deals with the issue in a sensitive subplot.

Maybe there are people who might have problems with young adult novels addressing such issues, but all I can say is this: if there had been books like this when I was a teen, I would have felt a lot less lonely and scared. With suicide rates double that of straight teens, gays and lesbians need all the help they can get...and I'm pretty sure it's no exaggeration to write that if ever there is a case when a book can save a life, this may be it...

Just some thoughts on a quiet night...I'm going to get back to the book I'm currently reading (Raising Stony Mayhall) which is just terrific (there are zombies!!!!) and has nary a lesbian in sight :)

 

I don't know why, but I often find myself playing songs from my past on quiet Sunday afternoons or during evenings after a day that was a bit trying. 

It's weird 'cause I didn't particularly like the 80s that much personally (bad memories and stuff like that), but I find lately that I love the music from that era more than ever.

Very few decades offered such oddities and talent (often in the same package, but not always) with such distinctive and easily recognizable fashion and hairstyles.

I'm not sure why I've been Wham-obsessed lately. I downloaded "Credit Card Baby" off of iTunes a few weeks ago and thought I'd laugh my head off, but it's actually a cute little song and brings back memories of shutting myself off from the world in my bedroom as a kid, where I danced all my worries away. 

That, for me, was what was great about the 80s...no matter how crappy things could get personally, there was always this outrageously good (and, yeah, sometimes bad) pop culture (whether it be music or movies) to distract you.:)



(this post is set to the tune of "Is This Love?" by Whitesnake)



I’m willing to bet that people (like me) who have never been in love (really in love, where it's a two-way street)  have no idea how it works in reality…that we romanticize it to the point of absurdity so badly it’s a wonder cartoon hearts aren’t flying out of our chest cavities when we speak of that special one.

I think back to the first person I ever thought I was in love with and how even all these years later, I can remember exactly how I felt about her, how her smile and her gentleness swims before my eyes even as I write this now.

She was amazingly kind and thoughtful, the kind of person who is nice to everyone no matter their background, their story, their looks or their station in life. And in a world like high school, where (like, a lot of people, I had my first big crush) this is a rarity that only made her all the more appealing to me.

She had this way of dressing, of moving and quietly talking that made her not only pleasing to the eye and ear, but very classy and chic in a genuine way. She was, right from the start, so much out of my league and social circle that she might as well been a movie star.

I knew that and also knew (oh so terribly so) that my feelings were wrong and totally inappropriate, considering I was a geek and a girl liking another girl (unheard of, at least verbally and in public, back then.)

Recently I saw she was on Facebook and for a half-second all those old feelings rushed up and I felt sick and giddy at the same time.

Sick: that I embarrassed myself with puppy dog eyes and bashful yet somehow still bold attempts to clumsily make friends so much back then that she had no choice but to ask her friends to ask me to leave her alone (but done in a sensitive way, again...so unlike the usual high school set of rules that would normally have called for something much harsher.)

Giddy: that she seemed to be doing well in life and "hey, whatever happened to?" was getting some closure right before my eyes.

Given the poor way I handled things way back then, there is no way I would ever Facebook her or even re-visit her page (it already feels so invasive that I visited it even once). But I would like to think that she really is happy and healthy and that just as time has mostly been kind to me, it has also been kind to her and that she would have no memory of how I was back then.

A crush like this pretty much answers no to the question "Is This Love?," but at the time (as it often does for so many victims of unrequited love and crushes) it sure felt like yes.

Ooh, the pleasures of food *orn...reading about these sandwiches is almost as good as eating them:

(Check out the luscious-looking one by Court Street Grocers)

see here

and (oh my!)...>>>>

some really good-looking food:

here

Am I missing something? I must be. Because the rush of accolades for Nevermind in the August issue of Spin is nothing sort of astronomic and I just don't understand why.

Of course, it probably would help if I'd heard Nirvana's album when it first came out twenty years ago, but somehow I missed that. I think I was busy somewhere else, buried away studying in college, or possibly (because that year is very blurry in my mind) spirited away somewhere else.

I actually like "Smells Like Teen Spirit" (even if the title makes me want to reach for deodorant for some odd reason) as well as "In Bloom" and "Something in the Way," but really most of it sounds like any old 90s garage band to me.

I've known people who speak of Nevermind in hushed whispers and the more I listen to "Come As You Are" the more I feel hypnotized so I guess I get some of the altered state appeal.

What I did thoroughly enjoy listening to is Spin's tribute album...called Spin Presents Newermind: A Tribute. I listened to the original album several times to get a feel for it, then I listened to

this

(This post is a bit different than my other ones, but this book really caught my eye and I wanted to write about it...I apologize if this post is offensive to anyone or too out of kilter from what I normally blog.)

Yesterday I was looking for books on anorexia when I thought I'd found one new to me. The title was listed (when I did a search on iBooks) as _Sexual Anorexia_ . At first I thought I'd found something related to my search. I have been reading about eating disorders for years and have never found a lot of information on sexual issues related to anorexia, bulimia or binge-eating disorders. Finally, there is one. Or so I thought.

_Sexual Anorexia_ is not only not about anorexia, it actually hijacks a term that has been used exclusively for years to relate to one of the most dangerous eating disorders around and certainly the one with the highest death rate. You can go without sex and not die, but you cannot go without food and still survive.

Only in America can attitudes about sex be so conflicting. If women want it too much, they're 'sluts' or 'nymphomaniacs." If they want it too little (or not at all) they're 'cold fish' or repressed.

I can understand that "sexual anorexia" can be a problem within a relationship where two people together are trying to be physically and emotionally intimate and one of them shies away from it. That is of concern, especially to the person who wants a mutually loving partner.

What I can't understand is why people immediately want to stigmatize asexuality (no interest in either sex) or a celibacy (where you may be interested, but choose not to be active) that is completely voluntary and stress-free.  There is nothing wrong with not wanting sex in your life...

Still, once I found the book I kind of wanted to read it anyway, though I have no personal reasons for doing so. I discovered as I kept on reading that a) the author is very sincere and well-intentioned and b) she means no ill will by using the term "anorexia" here. She is trying to make it clear that she considers withdrawing from any kind of sexual behavior or interest a serious sign of something much worse.

Since I had never heard of this term before I did a Google search and found this old New York Times article (of which the comments section is a particularly compelling read) :


read here