...only the lonely can play...

There's a certain amount of loneliness that can come with too much freedom. After work tonight I wandered around town aimlessly, going places I didn't even need to go to because I didn't want to return to my empty apartment. In the local gas station supermart Snow Patrol was playing on the sound system and the gorgeous, plaintive sounds of "Just Say Yes' pulled at my heart like a child tugging on her mother's pants' leg.

That moment was surreal, like almost every moment is when I hear a favorite sad song unexpectedly out and about. Things seemed to slow down and I noticed the people in the supermart...an elderly man with careworn wrinkles on his face and the bluest eyes I've seen in quite some time...a man in his thirties dashing in and out, impatient to pay for his gas...the cashier, friendly enough, but still distant, his eyes looking at something over my head. He was young and good-looking and had that air of waiting for his shift to end because he had plans in a few hours, big plans.

I bought my newspapers, my coffee energy drink and some non-perishable lunch items for work the next day. Dawdling was silly...my apartment would still be empty no matter what time I got home. Miss Right was not lurking around the corner, somehow waiting for me to bump into her unexpectedly. I watched way too many silly romantic comedies full of false ideas and yet still I waited...

So now, it's past midnight and I'm listening to this amazing album by Rocco DeLuca and the Burden. The song on right now is called "Open Pages" and it's steeped in calm sadness...resignation and maybe even the idea that pain is noble if you handle it the right way.

A couple of years ago I watched this surprisingly good movie on Lifetime called "My Name Is Sarah" with Jennifer Beals.  In the flick Beals plays a lonely and emotionally distant woman who accidentally ends up at an AA meeting.

Against her better judgment and after a few feeble attempts to convince people she's not an alcoholic she eventually becomes part of the group out of need for any kind of outreach. Later on when she meets a man she really likes she tries hard to correct everyone's assumptions, but by then it's way too late and her erratic behavior only makes people more sure than ever she belongs in AA....a touching, sweet and sometimes sad movie that should be on DVD!!

 The season premiere of Medium's seventh season is just a few hours away...hopefully tonight's all too familiar plot device of mother and daughter switching bodies will be done in a fresh way...I still love this show, but my passion has dimmed just a tad.

While the opener sounds more like Freaky Friday than anything else, I'm really looking forward to a future episode (mentioned in TV Guide) where Alison helps lovelorn singles by matching signs on their foreheads (only she can see) to other people with the same mark.

It sounds just kooky and sweet enough to be like one of my favorite episodes from much earlier in the series' run when Alison finds out what her life would have been like if she had married someone other than her beloved Joe.

For no apparent reason (that I consciously know of ) today I snatched up a copy of Gray's Anatomy at the library where I work. The book may not be as sexy or as deliciously ludicrous as the tv show that shares its name (and very little else!), but somehow it has sucked me into a fascinating world of detailed descriptions and stark black and white drawings.

The inexplicable unease I have felt all day has started to melt away and all I want to do is read words like "occipital bone" and "phalanges" and study the pictures that go with them.  I am calm, I am one with the world...it's the oddest thing!:)

If you get a chance this month go to your local Borders or Barnes and Noble and buy the October issue of Mojo magazine which comes with an incredible CD "re-imagining" the Beatles' Let it Be album...it's amazing how good it is! more soon!:)

I first discovered E.S.P. as a cassette way back in 1987, when I passionately loved the Bee Gees due to what might have been a tad unhealthy and possibly outdated fascination with the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack.

E.S.P. never really did that well here in the States; overseas it charted considerably higher (it reached #1 in Germany and Switzerland and #5 in the U.K.) Long forgotten by anyone other than a diehard Bee Gees fan and considered a flop if remembered at all, the cd (to me, at least) is remarkably well-aged and definitely deserving of a 21st century listen.

Not too long ago I purchased it off of Amazon as an import. It had been a long time since I'd given it a good listen and I was amazed at how modern it is...how more appropriate it sounds now then it did back when most people still associated the Gibb brothers with disco.

There are soft and sweet songs like "Angela," which is pretty and likable, but not a stand-out when compared to the haunting title track. "Giving Up the Ghost" (as oddly compelling and unlike the Bee Gees' normal sound as "E.S.P.") is my favorite!

I broke down and bought my very first Ipod touch...so excited at how much more room there will be for music!! And there are so many fun apps to use...including some fun bowling and air hockey games...and best of all, I can still use Amazon if I make sure the Downloader setting is on "itunes."

Last night I was at the Wegman's in Hunt Valley. I love Wegman's for so many reasons: the food bar, the produce, the surprisingly reasonable prices, the croissants, the seafood counter (the list goes on...). But yesterday I found a new reason: the quirky selection of cds in the spindle near the magazine section.

Though I don't quite know why they do it, I'm still glad they do because they carry a variety of old Time Life cds you don't see advertised on tv that often anymore...lots of 70s and 80s compilations with songs you won't find on other music anthologies.

Going online when I got home last evening I discovered this cool site:

seen on tv music

There are far more choices and interesting items to check out than on the regular Time Life website!