Acceptance is key to inner peace

from Reconstructing Amelia by Kimberly McCreight:

"Why do you hate me so much?” I heard myself ask. Part of me was glad that I had. The other, smarter part of me wanted to throttle that first part. “Tell me what I’m doing and I’ll try to stop, I swear.”

“Can you stop being you?” Zadie asked quietly. Her face was so close now. Close enough that we could have kissed. “I mean, if you can, that would be awesome. Otherwise, I guess we’ll have to stick with me hating you.”

The scene relates to a much larger bullying problem that is at the center of this riveting and well-written novel, yet you don't have to be bullied to long to ask someone this in real life.

I almost found myself going up to someone today and asking her this, but then I realized: a) of course not everyone is going to like you and b) if someone takes a dislike to you and (as far as you know) there's nothing you can do about it, what is asking "why do you hate me so much?" really going to change about the situation? 

I would love to say to her "tell me what I'm doing and I'll try to stop," but my gut instinct tells me there's nothing I could do, that the reason is because of who I am and not what I do. 

And, of course, there's the harsh, but simple truth that sometimes people don't even have to have a reason to dislike us. :(