Fragile things...

My mom used to refer to me as "fragile." She'd especially use this word to talk me out of all the reasons I shouldn't do things or go places by myself, even long after I'd moved out on my own. She'd cite my health issues or what she called my "too trusting nature" as why I needed to be extra careful in life.

Both my parents spent most of my childhood and teen years sheltering me so much that by the time I got to college, I wouldn't have known a third of what the other kids knew if I hadn't read so many of the books I wasn't supposed to or asked my younger, but much more worldly, sister.

I disliked that particular "f" word for so long I only recently saw that being "fragile" isn't always a bad word. I mean, if we were too tough to ever ever break, how would know or care how we, or others, ever really feel? How would we be human? Being more open and vulnerable to things means getting hurt, of course, but it also means experiencing so many beautiful things too...

from appszoom.com

Very few things are more fragile than emotions. When you begin to truly accept that you can't always change some emotions (which should be easy to change since you're the one having them) you finally start to get some peace. Your situation may be that you try and try to stop liking someone but you just can't, so instead you change what you can change about it. And that's not so hard to do if what you thought you wanted (acknowledgement, friendship, forgiveness) is something else instead.

Say, for instance, it was never about that person you like (but shouldn't) liking you back, but about forgiving yourself and hoping they never find out. Instead, maybe, the hardest thing for you was caring for them and knowing you had no right to care....that they had their family and friends for that. I think, if you're going to care no matter what do not to care, that possibly, hopefully, it's okay to silently send good thoughts and wishes (maybe even prayers) their way...