As long as there has been representation of lesbians in fiction, no matter the quality of it, there has rarely ever been indifference in how they are represented. Whether in the pages of pulp fiction, where gay women are clearly seen as "bad" or pitifully portrayed as "confused" or whether it's in more modern novels where happy endings and true love can be found, there is division...just as there (obviously) is in real life.
For half a minute yesterday I felt hope, real, honest hope, that the Vatican might be rethinking its history of demonizing gays and lesbians. Pope Francis is definitely more open-minded and kind-hearted than any of his predecessors on social issues. He was all set, apparently, to recognize that we are people too, with valid contributions to society.
Hardly inflammatory or radical, part of the document states:
“Homosexuals have gifts and qualities to offer the Christian community. Are we capable of welcoming these people, guaranteeing to them a further space in our communities? Often they wish to encounter a Church that offers them a welcoming home."
Nowhere, does it say gays should be allowed to marry or priests must officiate at them. It just states a basic, compassionate truth: that gays and lesbians are people, too, and that perhaps the Christian community should be more open to them.
Today, according to CNN, the Vatican has retracted its position due to "angry assault from conservative Catholics" (more here). Among the less hateful, but no less hurtful, reactions:
Those who are controlling the Synod have betrayed Catholic parents worldwide. We believe that the Synod’s mid-way report is one of the worst official documents drafted in Church history. … Catholic families are clinging to Christ’s teaching on marriage and chastity by their finger-tips.” — John Smeaton, cofounder of Voice of the Family, an anti-LGBT laity organization (I would love to tell Mr. Smeaton that gay people are perfectly capable of being chaste and celibate, but I doubt he'd listen.)
I knew better than to get my hopes up, not to mention that God Himself could accept me for being gay and as long as it's not okay with my parents, I'd still be torn. What does it matter to me, personally, either way? And why do comments (from letters to the editor) like this upset me terribly?
A battered but proud national tradition of paying homage to and buttressing the ancient law of chastity — no sexual relations except between a man and a woman legally wed — has been officially and, with finality, discarded by a nation that famously hoped to be that “city upon a hill.”
It's simple: it upsets me because being gay is not about sex, but about love, and because there is so much hypocrisy linked to the above viewpoint, I have to stop typing for a second so I can calm down. People who are homophobic or, worse, bigoted often fiercely deny they are and explain that they get upset over any couples living together outside of traditional marriage.
Yet, that's just not so...if it were, where are the protests over straight people living together without being wed or straight singles going to bars, merely to hook up with strangers and have meaningless sex? There is no more a gay "lifestyle" than there is straight one. For more of us than not (no matter who we are) we aren't looking for one night stands, but for true love, the kind that you can't find in bars or night clubs or Craig's List.
Homophobic people (and the Vatican) cannot have it both ways. You cannot say gays and lesbians are merely sexual creatures and throw that stereotype around whenever it's convenient for your position, but then say two loving and committed people do not have the right to get married and grow old together when it's painfully evident that's exactly what they want. You can't say in one breath we're "sick" or "mentally ill" and then, in another breath, say we "choose" to be this way.
Honestly, I have no personal interest invested in this. My parents will never make peace with who I am and I have never found that someone I long to grow old with, so I hardly think I'll be making any wedding plans in the future. But, I have seen (and still see) people of the same gender in love who would do anything for each other, who would die for each other, and I just don't get why so much hate is used to fight such a beautiful thing as love.
I know homophobia is always going to exist, no matter how much progress we make in gay rights and marriage. I don't expect to ever change anyone's mind about it. I do, though, wish anti-gay people would be more honest and just admit that they can't (or won't) see gays and lesbians as human beings with hearts and morals and daily lives that are just as normal as anyone else's. I am sad over the reaction to yesterday's promising Vatican announcement, but I am definitely not surprised.
For now, I'll remind myself that some people think more like this man:
“The Spirit was clearly at work in the Synod. We pray that this positive shift in tone and language will also mean changes in hurtful and dated policies.” — Jim FitzGerald, executive director of Call to Action, an inclusive antiracism and anti-oppression Catholic organization
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| from Terry Moore's Strangers In Paradise
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