music, books, love and kindness

Monday, February 9, 2015

My mood today needed definite improvement. It doesn't matter that I had a headache or that a small part of my heart felt like it was actually breaking. Other people have bad days too and are perfectly well-behaved and nice.

I really like this article for improving moods:

http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/6-ways-to-instantly-improve-your-mood/

but, unfortunately, that doesn't bring back today. I hope to be better the next time I feel my spirits falling.

The most troubling thing about my mood, though, was that I let it affect how I treated someone whose only crime is being a bit predictable in what he says each time you see him. He's always pleasant to everyone, works hard and on most days it's nice to see him. So what if he says the same exact thing every single time you see him? He's still a human being, still a friendly person deserving of respect back.

And yet I found myself rushing away from him today, which is what I imagine some people want to do whenever they see me. Normally, I like everyone, but my patience today was so very thin and I am ashamed of that. It's snowballing so much right now.

I'd like to say all my guilty feelings are purely because I genuinely like him and feel bad that I wasn't as kind as I should have been. That's it, sure, at least partly. But's also because I know exactly what it's like to see annoyance in someone else's eyes when they come across you and I would feel just awful if I did that to someone.

I always try to remember how it feels when you know someone doesn't like you and they don't try very hard to hide it. That's not what's going on here, but it doesn't matter that I like him, it only matters that it may come across that I don't.