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I know I shouldn't be writing while I'm at work, but for the past hour I have not been able to concentrate and I am off the floor so I guess there are worse things I could do. Though that doesn't help the guilt at all. But, still, better I write here than make a fool of myself in the real world, where I am worried about someone I have no right to worry about. 

Keeping my feelings to myself is the most important thing I can do in this matter. I'll send prayers out in my mind, but that's all I can do. I've been down this road before (years ago) and I will not travel that path again. Sometimes you can't and shouldn't let someone know how you feel, because it can actually be a selfish thing if it's only going to end up making them uncomfortable. 

...because sometimes you can't tell someone this directly, but you can always wish them well in your heart.

Someday, sooner rather than later I hope, I will have a grip on all the silly things inside my heart...because really, lately I find the heart to be a huge nuisance and I would rather not feel anything than feel everything. The Wizard was right when he told the Tin Man he didn't know how lucky he was not to have a heart.