music, books, love and kindness

I usually have insomnia because I physically cannot fall asleep, like there's a switch that won't turn off deep inside my brain. But this week it's been because I'm afraid to fall asleep, afraid to fall into my dreams, the ones where the person I like likes me back.

I can't explain exactly why I feel guilty when I wake up from them...I've tried everything I can think of (including lucid dreaming) to not have them...so (I don't think) it's not like I can control them. Perhaps the guilt comes from actually believing (within the dream itself and only during the dreaming) that the things that are happening are true.

I'm still searching for more information on guilt and dreams, but I haven't found what I'm looking for...though this (mostly unrelated) article helped in another way. I love the thought catalog website; they often have amazing articles.

After surviving that kind of ache, you’ll be so much stronger, so much more certain of yourself. You’ll see that all pain (physical, emotional, and metal) is a temporary state of being, not a permanent one. There is always a reason to go on, always a reason to fight for yourself.

Read the rest here:

http://thoughtcatalog.com/wes-janisen/2013/08/you-should-fall-for-someone-who-doesnt-love-you/

Until I can figure out how to stop having those dreams I will try and enjoy the other good dreams I occasionally have and take pleasure in the relief I get when I wake from bad dreams and realize they are not true anymore.