music, books, love and kindness

Maybe, but maybe you could also say: sometimes you can ruin things and never get the chance to get that first impression back.

I tried everywhere to find something about what happens when (or at least you are pretty sure) your first impression with someone was actually okay, but the second (and third and fourth and so on) impressions are the ones you have mucked up. You did not try to botch things AND, in fact, you continue to flail because you like the person you have messed things up with so much. I find it so very heart-breaking and utterly bewildering that the more you care about things and people, the more you can totally mess up and even ruin things with them. :(

Really, I do not know where I am going with this except to say that I am flailing a lot lately in many areas and I am finding, much to my horror, that my attention span has become so poor I can barely read a book straight through anymore, the one thing I always had to escape my own thoughts. And a buzzed up, but unfocused brain makes it very hard to sleep, which takes another way of escaping away from you. I have never been a big fan of Hemingway, but when I read this quote from him my heart went out to the guy because I think I know exactly what he meant...