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I experience very intense dreams (more often, nightmares) every night I am able to sleep. This has been the case since I was at least five and first dreamed of a large spider creaking and clomping down the stairs of my childhood home. For years I have had the below recurring nightmare (not described in detail on purpose) and decided to get help from AI...

AI Therapy

Any advice on helping someone with getting rid of recurring dreams about a high school crush from almost 40 years ago? It doesn't help that this crush was on a classmate of the same gender with whom I had a falling out and never found closure. On the other hand, it's not like I can reach out to her and ask for forgiveness when it was a really bad time in her life and I would possibly be reminding her of that. 

(I think the advice is helpful, but not complete, since I didn't really provide the context of the situation and we were classmates, not friends or in a relationship.)

 

Recurring dreams often reflect unresolved feelings or unfinished business from our past. Given your situation, where the relationship with your high school crush ended without closure, these dreams might be a manifestation of lingering emotions and thoughts.

Here are some strategies to help you cope with and potentially reduce these recurring dreams:

Self-Reflection and Acceptance

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: Take time to understand and accept your feelings about the past. Journaling can be a helpful tool to explore your thoughts and emotions.

2. Reflect on the Past: Consider what exactly about the relationship and the falling out bothers you. Is it guilt, regret, or simply the lack of closure? Understanding this can help you address the root cause.

Finding Closure Without Direct Contact

1. Write a Letter: Write a letter to your high school crush expressing everything you feel. You don't need to send it. The act of writing can be therapeutic and help you process your emotions.

2. Symbolic Closure: Create a personal ritual to symbolize closure. This could be as simple as writing down your feelings and then burning the paper, or any other act that signifies letting go.

Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques

1. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness meditation can help you stay present and reduce anxiety about the past. Techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or guided imagery can also be beneficial.

2. Develop a Bedtime Routine: Establish a calming pre-sleep routine to help clear your mind. Avoiding screen time before bed and engaging in relaxing activities like reading or listening to soothing music can help.

Professional Support

1. Therapy: Consider talking to a therapist or counselor. They can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and help you develop strategies to cope with recurring dreams and unresolved emotions.

Reframe Your Thoughts

1. Positive Affirmations: Before bed, remind yourself of positive aspects of your current life and self-worth. Affirmations can help shift your focus away from past regrets.

2. Redirect Your Energy: Channel your energy into hobbies, projects, or activities that you enjoy. Engaging in something productive can provide a sense of fulfillment and distract from recurring thoughts about the past.

Consider the Dreams' Messages

1. Dream Analysis: Sometimes, understanding what your dreams might be telling you can be helpful. Reflect on the content and emotions of the dreams to see if there are any patterns or insights.

2. Lucid Dreaming: If you’re open to it, you could explore lucid dreaming techniques. Being aware that you are dreaming can sometimes give you control over the dream narrative, allowing you to change its course.

Remember, it's natural to have lingering feelings about significant relationships from the past, but with time and effort, you can find ways to move forward and reduce the impact of these recurring dreams.