Am I missing something? I must be. Because the rush of accolades for Nevermind in the August issue of Spin is nothing sort of astronomic and I just don't understand why.

Of course, it probably would help if I'd heard Nirvana's album when it first came out twenty years ago, but somehow I missed that. I think I was busy somewhere else, buried away studying in college, or possibly (because that year is very blurry in my mind) spirited away somewhere else.

I actually like "Smells Like Teen Spirit" (even if the title makes me want to reach for deodorant for some odd reason) as well as "In Bloom" and "Something in the Way," but really most of it sounds like any old 90s garage band to me.

I've known people who speak of Nevermind in hushed whispers and the more I listen to "Come As You Are" the more I feel hypnotized so I guess I get some of the altered state appeal.

What I did thoroughly enjoy listening to is Spin's tribute album...called Spin Presents Newermind: A Tribute. I listened to the original album several times to get a feel for it, then I listened to

this

(This post is a bit different than my other ones, but this book really caught my eye and I wanted to write about it...I apologize if this post is offensive to anyone or too out of kilter from what I normally blog.)

Yesterday I was looking for books on anorexia when I thought I'd found one new to me. The title was listed (when I did a search on iBooks) as _Sexual Anorexia_ . At first I thought I'd found something related to my search. I have been reading about eating disorders for years and have never found a lot of information on sexual issues related to anorexia, bulimia or binge-eating disorders. Finally, there is one. Or so I thought.

_Sexual Anorexia_ is not only not about anorexia, it actually hijacks a term that has been used exclusively for years to relate to one of the most dangerous eating disorders around and certainly the one with the highest death rate. You can go without sex and not die, but you cannot go without food and still survive.

Only in America can attitudes about sex be so conflicting. If women want it too much, they're 'sluts' or 'nymphomaniacs." If they want it too little (or not at all) they're 'cold fish' or repressed.

I can understand that "sexual anorexia" can be a problem within a relationship where two people together are trying to be physically and emotionally intimate and one of them shies away from it. That is of concern, especially to the person who wants a mutually loving partner.

What I can't understand is why people immediately want to stigmatize asexuality (no interest in either sex) or a celibacy (where you may be interested, but choose not to be active) that is completely voluntary and stress-free.  There is nothing wrong with not wanting sex in your life...

Still, once I found the book I kind of wanted to read it anyway, though I have no personal reasons for doing so. I discovered as I kept on reading that a) the author is very sincere and well-intentioned and b) she means no ill will by using the term "anorexia" here. She is trying to make it clear that she considers withdrawing from any kind of sexual behavior or interest a serious sign of something much worse.

Since I had never heard of this term before I did a Google search and found this old New York Times article (of which the comments section is a particularly compelling read) :


read here

It seems like lately there is no shortage of novels about first loves resurfacing decades later in the lives of various female main characters.

And in real life, as well, people aren't shy about sharing their memories and experiences, especially about former high school sweethearts.

In the novel Always Something There To Remind Me Beth Harbison writes:

Everyone has a first love, one person they never completely got over, right? Picture yours. Because when you come down to it, it isn't really anything about the way they look that distinguishes them in your memory-hair color, physical shape, style. It can change all the time. It's the way you remember feeling when you looked at them.

In one book and a couple of articles I read on the subject of first loves and crushes, one common thought came up again and again in the minds of people wondering about that special person from long ago. It wasn't so much that they wanted to see them again or (worse!) leave a current relationship in some weird hope they could rekindle 'that old magic.'

The thought was this: that they hoped (especially when they had no way of knowing for sure) that former love, or even just that former crush, was somewhere, somehow, happy and healthy.

Call me corny, but I couldn't agree more.

This weekend there is an "I Love Lucy" marathon on Hallmark...yay!!! For many of us Lucy is not just a treasured icon of comedy, but someone whose beloved sitcom has gotten us through bad colds, bad break-ups and just plain bad days.

Saturday, August 6th is what would have been Lucille Balle's 100th birthday and Hallmark is celebrating in the best way possible!!!:

read here

Do you ever find something in your hard copy music collection you're just appalled to find you still own...something you thought you got rid of years ago, but now realize you must have held on to for nostalgic reasons? And then, do you put that album on anyway, listen to it and suddenly feel just a tad overwhelmed by the past and just how much you loved that goofy music at one time? :)

The other day I found myself putting two Debbie Gibson songs on my iPod, one of which I would be willing to defend to the end as actually being a really good love song. "Foolish Beat."

It was a song she not only wrote and sang herself, but also produced. She would have the record for being the youngest artist to do so until 2007.  Years later "Foolish Beat" would make VH1's 40 Most Awesomely Bad Break-up Songs...Ever, but I actually loved the song and still do.

Maybe others find it melodramatic or just plain bad, but I hear something in it that speaks to the pain of being young and in love. And when it became a hit in 1988, I was seventeen and going through the worst kind of teen angst...so maybe that's why I liked it so much.