I swear books "fall" into my lap just when I need them the most. Feeling a bit down one day last week after earlier overhearing an acquaintance use a very harsh anti-gay word, I stumbled onto Love Devours:Tales Of Monstrous Affection by Sarah Diemer and immediately downloaded it to my iBooks app.

 

Authors such as Ms. Dimer actually have the power to save lives

...and I am perfectly serious here, saying something anyone who grew up knowing he or she was gay and not having a soul to talk about it with will understand.

 

The most vital part of Love Devours is the introduction where Ms. Diemer writes:

 

I was born a monster.
 

That’s what the protesters at the Pride Parade told me, anyway, bellowing into a megaphone while they held up a sign that announced "all gays go to hell."

 

I was born gay. This is considered, by many, to be monstrous, which is, of course, the opposite of truth. But from the very beginning, I knew I was strange, different, so it’s no surprise, of course, that I turned to the monsters of myth, of legend, of fairy tale, devouring their stories as their stories devoured me.

 

Explaining quite eloquently a bit more why monsters so appeal to her Ms. Diemer adds:

 

This book is for every girl and boy who has ever been called a monster. Every woman and man deemed monstrous for being different.

 You are wild. You are strong. You are fierce and free.

 

If there had been books like this around when I was younger, I might have had a whole different way of seeing things and not believed through most of my teens and early 20s I was doomed to eternity in Hell, no matter that I desperately tried to ignore who I was inside.

For authors like Sarah Diemer I am grateful, especially because there are kids living in today's world (gay friendly society or not) who still desperately need to hear what she has to say.

 



Of all the books I've ever tried to read Ulysses is the hardest and most ghastly. My experience with reading it in college definitely did not leave me with favorable impressions nor did a more recent attempt. It may be nearly incomprehensible to some of us, but one thing the novel is not is boring.

 

Between seeing the above picture of David Foster Wallace's notes on Joyce's infamous behemoth or having recently started a copy of Kevin Birmingham's fascinating The Most Dangerous Book: The Battle ForJames Joyce's Ulysses, I can't stop thinking about the book I love to hate.

 

In mentioning other titles that caused lots of trouble in the early 20th century, Mr. Birmingham refers to Married Love by Dr. Marie Stopes. I downloaded it through Google Play and am finding it fascinating...particularly because it's so ahead of its time.

 

You can find a free copy here:

 

full text

 

more about Married Love here

 

 

And speaking of books, Buzzfeed posted this awesome article:

 

http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinlarosa/bookstores-that-will-literally-change-your-life



So I finished Ghosts Of Winter, a book I mentioned the other day, and I wish I could roll my eyes at all the romance and angsty feelings inside it, but I can't...even if it is ridiculous to want something two characters share in a book, movie or tv show, even if most romance is just a fairy tale.

I know it's ridiculous, but I also know what is real and what is not and that, for the time I'm reading a book, I borrow the love.

The funny thing is, though, what the two people share in this story seems totally feasible to me. They face emotional warts, worries, battles and love and it feels real, so real. As Rebecca S. Book explains she sees the "importance of fiction for representing the human experience."

At the heart of Ros and Anna's situation is the uncertainty of whether two emotionally insecure people (one obviously so and the other hiding her fears behind extreme detachment) can make a go of it. Ros thinks about Anna:
                 

I’m awful at making it clear how I feel, so perhaps it was my fault that she’d not understood me.

Not too long after that, Anna confesses:

"Because you handle life so well. I don’t really know why you think I have anything for you. It’s not about what you can give me, Ros. It’s just about you. You’re beautiful, you’re witty, you’re perceptive and sensitive, you’re brave, and you’re a bloody good kisser."

Ghosts Of Winter is one of the best love stories I've read in ages because it rings more real than most from its genre do and because the two women are so likable, if in need of some enlightenment about each other.

Another terrific thing about the book is how every so often there are chapters featuring other lovelorn couples who have lived in Winter Manor throughout the centuries. These couples aren't so lucky in love, though, with one from the 1920s especially doomed to silently love each other instead of getting together and living happily ever after:

"Do you know, Edith, I think love can exist, even when it’s not acted upon,” Evadne said, daring to express what lay in her heart.

I don't know why, exactly, but that's my favorite line in the book.

The best article I've seen about Casey Kasem so far:

 

 

read here

 

 

 

 

 

I loved listening to him on the radio when I was a teenager in the 80s and enjoyed so much the way he'd give back story to so many of the hits he played.



Sunday newspapers...this and that



Spending the morning reading weekend and Sunday newspapers like The Wall Street Journal and The New York Times, I find this to be the most interesting and useful article so far:

"Good Manners for Nice People"

It's a terrific piece, with an emphasis on how technology has truly changed how we treat each other, even if basic human behavior (or misbehavior) is still behind all rudeness. As Ms. Alkon writes in her book:

the essence of manners is empathy. "The missing link in our understanding of conflict is our failure to realize how vulnerable humans are to being treated as if they didn't matter."

Her biting passages are no less insightful because they border on the hysterical: "If you're going to invite someone to dinner and ignore them, at least have the decency to get married and build up years of bitterness and resentment." 

Moira Hogson's review definitely makes me want to read this book!

Also related to manners is this article, with lots to say about our misuse of cellphones in public places. I don't agree with everything Mr. Lazebnik writes, but most of the time he's right on target:

"Keep Your Cellphone Out Of My Starbucks"