music, books, love and kindness

I purposely keep my blog anonymous because I post on delicate issues from time to time and can be more free knowing no one I personally know can ever possibly read what I write. But between the fact "just a girl" gets very little blog traffic and that I feel kind of cowardly sometimes I wonder...what is the point?

I also wonder about how stubbornly black and white I can be on some things and how people I am so quick (in my mind) to label as homophobic or anti-woman can surprise me with their kindness and otherwise basic human decency.

I get confused...I really do. How can it be that people I've heard say such hateful things about groups of people be seemingly (and sincerely) nice? Is it that they don't know I'm gay or that they are willing to look past it? That they are quick to make judgments about concepts, but are nicer to the individual behind them?

Where once I would get silently angry, steaming inside and longing to say what I really thought, now I just accept. I don't know if giving up on things like boycotting, if no longer speaking up when someone makes a deeply offensive remark, makes me complicit or not. I don't. I do know that constantly being wary and on the defensive makes for one tiring day after another. I don't want to be that person who can never relax, who is internally judging someone because they still eat at Chik-Fil-A or wear real Fur Coats.

I just want to be and let others be, too.  :)