I think I love music almost more than I've ever loved any human (almost). At its very very best, music can make us think of all the wonderful things the world has to offer and it can gently plop our souls in places our bodies may never find while living here on Earth.
One of those things, for me at least, is love, specifically: romantic love.
I'm pretty sure I've never been in love before, at least not with someone who loved me back. I used to smile when well-meaning people (saying it based on nothing more than my single status, thinking it would be encouraging and kind) would exclaim: 'Your day will come.'
Maybe I even believed them at one time, mostly because I wanted to, with that silly part of me who watched way more than her share of romantic comedies and because music, while an incredibly sincere and touching art form, is quite capable of making you believe things that just aren't true. I still smile, but I no longer believe, not in any way that counts.
The older you get, the more experience and reality show you otherwise, you can feel a bit at odds with yourself when what you want and what you actually have are two different things and you realize your life plan is way, way off track.
I love cooking and will do it for just me, if for no other reason than it's healthier than going take-out or the frozen way. But I always wanted to find someone with whom to grow old and dote on in all the ways you do for someone you love. Even before I could have ever dreamed I'd live in a world where gay marriage was more than a fantasy I knew I would be willing to overcome whatever it took to find Miss Right.
Bad dates, scary dates, could-have-been-wild-dates I wanted no part of have made me start to think that being old-fashioned and gay is not very popular in the lesbian community. If it isn't, if I never find someone, I know I'll be okay...because of other things that can fill your soul like love can and give everyday things beautiful color: friends, books and music.
Just a picture of an incredibly fun group to listen to, especially on days you need a pick-me-up from the big bad world outside :)
video for "Safe and Sound"
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