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Asexuality is a topic not discussed often, especially in public circles, but I think it's an important one and definitely not something to be dismissed as someone's "imagination" or "confusion" or the result of a history of sexual abuse. It's very much real and the subject of a new book called The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality.

Having read about asexuality before and seen many comments on various online articles, I'm shocked at both the meanness and lack of understanding about it, especially by members of the gay and lesbian community who have responded. Nowhere in this article (at least that I can see) is the author comparing how difficult it is to be gay (i.e. facing ostracization, hate or even violence from family, friends and strangers) with what it's like to be asexual.

There also seems to be some leaps to mixing up asexuality with celibacy, which is a different thing. The former is a complete lack of interest while the latter is a commitment to not giving in to any sexual activity, even if the compulsion is strong. 

One aspect I find intriguing is that a person can still be considered asexual if she has romantic feelings for someone, but not sexual ones. It makes perfect sense to me. Sex without love would be meaningless, but love without sex is not. Of course, there are asexuals who are also considered aromantic.

Not wanting to be in a relationship or married should be just as acceptable as the opposite. Asexual, bisexual, heterosexual or homosexual, we all still care a lot about the people in our lives. We should all be allowed to be true to our nature as long as we're not hurting anyone, but apparently asexuality is as appalling to some people as much as being gay is to others.

To read the article (and comments following it) you can go here:

http://op-talk.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/09/24/why-asexuals-dont-want-to-be-invisible-anymore/

There's a helpful and insightful review on it as well:

http://markcarrigan.net/2014/06/24/the-invisible-orientation-an-introduction-to-asexuality/