music, books, love and kindness

I did so want to like If I Were A Boy by Erin O'Reilly. The title grabbed me right away, making me think it would be a lot deeper emotionally and romantically than it actually is. For me, the "If I were a boy" resonated, because it is something heartbreaking and real a gay woman might say (even these days) to herself or to someone else when the world makes it especially challenging to be a lesbian. One of the two central characters in the book mostly says it as a joke, though, which seems to be the catalyst for both women suddenly realizing there is an attraction between them.

The two main problems I have with Erin O'Reilly's otherwise sincere and (from what I can tell) good-intentioned tale is how physically-driven Helen and Katie's relationship is (Cinemax-driven might be the better word) and how one of the women's sister is so homophobic and so over the top about it, it almost becomes a farce.

At one point, Helen tells her mother she's worried her "overloaded baser instincts" have gotten the best of her, not knowing the woman she supposedly loves, Katie, has just overheard her. It's a very insulting comment, a very hurtful one, and yet it's kind of true...because so much of Helen and Katie's relationship is nothing more than sneaking around and lying to their husbands. Yes, their husbands are major jerks (horrific in the case of Helen's husband Bobby), but they still sneak around...grabbing sex whenever they can, mostly on a beach, when the rest of the group they're all vacationing with is away fishing for the day.

If I sound a bit bitter, I suppose it's because I am, a tad. Quality lesfic is hard to find, especially quality lesfic that represents love as something far more than physical. Sex sells, as they say (whoever "they" is), but some of us still prefer our love stories old-fashioned.

The writing itself is not bad and there is a plucky spirit I like (Katie is so so sweet in her fierce need and sincere desire to protect Helen) but that's just not enough for me...the innocence and mood of the kiss on the front cover is never quite matched within the book.