music, books, love and kindness

I woke up from a bad dream last night and my anxiety felt so intense I put a jacket on over my clothes and went outside, into the parking lot, just so I could get some air and breathe properly...all because of a book I read yesterday, which only got to me because it reminded me too much of real life and missing things, as the main character had, that most others have experienced as part of the human cycle.

Then, I get to work today and I long to be back on my staycation because I just don't do really well around people, especially people I like and want to actually talk with, but end up turning away in something that could almost be called terror.

One reason I like books so much is that they give you the illusion of being around people, without presenting the physical chance of messing up those interactions with people.

I keep hoping I'll get the swing of it, but I either turn into Beaker from The Muppets or I shut down completely.