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| from the Sunday Times (UK), February 22, 2015 |
I think I'm having a more peaceful weekend than usual because I got a lot done at work yesterday and was able to concentrate better than I have been lately. And getting some sleep and resolving something that has been plaguing you a lot can also help. I woke up this morning with a cold (or cold-like symptoms) but I have my heater, my laptop, lots of blankets and old movies to watch so it's almost actually nice.
I'm trying harder with meditation** Ongoing stressors (my relationship with my parents, the feelings and affection for someone I've mentioned before that I shouldn't be experiencing, worrying about the people I care about) aren't going to necessarily improve so I have to improve how I think about them.
Really, it's only the middle thing I can do anything about...tuck away those feelings deep down somewhere in my heart...because they will always be there, I'm starting to fear...but (as if this needs saying) obviously I can't do anything with them. Of course, it's a little easier to be certain and confident you can do this on the days that person is not around.
One of the things I did yesterday, during a quieter part of the afternoon, was work on an online course through a company our workplace uses for training. There's obvious (but still nice) information like this:
Everyone has positive qualities that you admire. Even if it is the type of shirt a man wears or the sound of a woman's laughter, everyone has at least one thing you can compliment them on. Many studies show that when people are given compliments instead of criticisms, they are happier and more productive. Every time you praise or give recognition to another person for a specific behavior, you reinforce that behavior. You encourage the person to repeat the same behavior again.
Giving compliments to others helps them feel good about themselves and raises their self-esteem. When you compliment others, you communicate to them that they are competent, smart, effective, or lovable. You give appreciation, recognition, and admiration by sharing compliments. These are gifts you give to others that have a long-term positive effect on your relationship.
And then there is the below, which I hate to say, I am guilty of even if I mean well. You can kind of get carried away when you really like someone:
Don't Overpraise
Don't overpraise another person or you will make her uncomfortable. Don't tell her that she is "the smartest person you know" or is "the most valuable employee in the company." Keep the praise realistic and don't do it every day.
You can look into taking the courses here or check your local library to see if they offer them directly through their website:
http://solutions.cengage.com/GaleCourses/
**
written by Jonathan Leake:
YOGA lovers and mystics have known it for centuries but scientists have now confirmed that chanting “Om” really does soothe the brain.
The finding emerged from a study in which 21 men listened to the mantra while lying in a scanner that monitors brain activity.
Researchers found that, as the chanting progressed, the parts of the brain used in day-to-day activity slowed while those involved in emotional awareness took over.
“Listening to the ‘Om’ sound . . . activates areas of the bilateral cerebellum, left middle frontal gyrus and right precuneus,” said Uttam Kumar of the Sanjay Gandhi Postgraduate Institute of Medical Sciences in Lucknow, India. The research was published in the journal Cognition and Emotion.
“Listening to ‘Om’ recruits neural systems implicated in emotional empathy,” Kumar said.
source: http://www.thesundaytimes.co.uk/sto/news/uk_news/Health/article1522437.ece
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