Though on an infinitely smaller level than the Cassandra from Greek mythology and, when you come down to it, not in the same context, I still decided to name my blog "cassandraswarning" because of what it's like to be told how you feel by other people or to not be taken seriously when you open your mouth and speak. Plus, Greek mythology has always fascinated me.
From the time I was little until I tried to come out to my parents, my mom would often say, "No, you aren't" or "No, you don't." Sayings like "I know what's best for you" never bothered me as much because that's what parents do...they look out for you and even when they (unintentionally, I'm hopeful) smother you, it's only because they mean well.
But it's a completely different thing to deny what someone else feels, to deprive them of their own words, their own meanings. I blame this on myself, though, because I've never really been able to convey what goes on behind my mind...words are often out of my mouth before I realize they didn't come out the way I wanted them to...
I'm taking an online course through work that helps with being more assertive and I find it interesting that (so far) the only section that addresses this kind of issue is in dealing with "your mate." (I swear that's the word the instructor uses...mate.)
Besides the fact I don't have one, I also don't get why this section isn't covered with family members (or just in general). It's good advice, but I think it can apply in other areas as well:
What is a feeling? It is the direct response to something that is said or happens to you. You don't think about having these feelings. They just happen inside you. These are always your most truthful reactions.
If you do not express your feelings, you will feel lonely and resentful toward your mate. When you do not open up and share what you are feeling, you will search for evidence that justifies your reaction. You may begin to see your mate as being against you. Over time, your feelings are blown out of proportion and you lose your perspective to the events that caused them. You see yourself as right and your mate as wrong. You continue to react to what happens based on the past and not on what is happening in the present.>>Gale Courses
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