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Every time I read an op-ed piece or hear an interview with someone fervently (and sincerely, I believe) going on about their religious rights being trampled on when it comes to gay marriage, I actually feel (especially lately) like I am going to burst into tears.

My own parents say the most vitriolic anti-gay things, never really trying to see things from my point of view. I admit I haven't had to give up much since I never met someone who loved me back that I wanted to share my life with...but I yearn to meet someone, deep down in my heart, and they have told me more than once they would "make me" me go back to "ex-gay" therapy if I went back on my promise to never "be" gay.

Never mind that as far as I can tell from looking it up online, parents cannot place grown children in therapy against their will...never mind this, for right now. What hurts most is how they see so many things I believe in as "evil" and wrong...things that I squash down whenever I am anywhere near them or even when I'm not...they want me to be happy according to their beliefs and ideas of happiness, not mine and it really, really breaks my heart and sometimes, like tonight, I just can't go through with my promise to go visit them.

I know there are other parents like mine, parents who may or may not mean the best for their adult children, who may disagree with them on other issues besides gay marriage. They could be unhappy with their children for a host of reasons and only be willing to "be there" if their children agree with them one hundred percent. Maybe I'm wrong...but I don't think this is fair nor is it unconditional love...and if we can't have unconditional love with our own family, who can we have unconditional love with?

I wish that people who are anti-gay would truly try and understand that gays and lesbians are not out to change the world for the worse or tell far right Christians what to do or what believe...that all we really just want is to live in a world where we don't feel like a small part of us is dying each day because we're trying to be something we're not for the very people who are supposed ("supposed" in the sense that that's what parents do) to love us the most.

I don't expect my parents to accept or agree with me, I just want them to understand that I can't make myself be something I'm not...