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I made a decision the other day that isn't life-altering, but yet, somehow, really is (for me) in a way. I made it in a moment of strong emotion and careful decision, and even now I am not regretting it. It will remove me somewhat from a situation I have been slipping in over and over, a situation both hopeless and heartbreaking. And I will be sad for a while at missing what I will be missing, but I also am glad that I am capable of doing what needs to be done when I feel I cannot trust how I react sometimes.

I found some articles on making decisions (some of which cover logically versus emotionally):

http://changingminds.org/explanations/emotions/emotion_decision.htm

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/one-among-many/201006/reason-and-emotion-note-plato-darwin-and-damasio

http://blog.iqmatrix.com/effective-decisions

I can never get back the respect of the person whose opinion has changed of me and that makes me, incredibly sad...especially when I think of the first day we met and how she couldn't possibly have known yet what an idiot I was going to turn out to be. But it is only what I deserve, especially considering everything that has happened.

Meanwhile, I am doing my very best to keep my feelings and thoughts to myself and hoping that even though I cannot change what has happened, even if this person never wants anything ever to do with me again, I will do my very best from now on to separate my heart from my mouth.