music, books, love and kindness

Voltaire once said that uncertainty is an uncomfortable position, but certainty is an absurd one. He is right for so many reasons, but for me no more so than because taking this position in matters of love and the heart is very wise, no matter how unromantic it may be.

Uncertainty can leave room for hope where being certain (through what you own eyes see and knowing the facts of the case) can not. There may be flickers in one's heart of "oh, maybe that person does like me" but that is all they are...flickers. Romance novels and tv shows and movies seem to suggest that it is better to reach out and take the chance than to not. But that is a huge mistake that will leave you with more than egg on your face and the other person possibly never talking to you again.

I really, really do not think we can help what we feel in our hearts for someone else, I truly, truly do not. If we could, I think many of us would have exorcised the pain we have a long, long, long time ago. Our hearts may not be able to stop reminding us with their annoyingly active thump, thump, thumps how we feel about someone else BUT our mouths can certainly keep quiet about it all. And for those of us who know beyond certain that our feelings are not returned, well that is not only the sensible thing to do, it is the ONLY thing to do.

Those romantic works of art also like to suggest that there's always a chance (though really a chance is just a flicker) that that someone else could actually like us back. Maybe. (Can I emphasize maybe enough?) But the chances that they do not feel the same, that the gut instinct, that little voice inside us screaming to keep quiet...well, the chances are much higher that the voice of reason, not the voice of the heart should be listened to, at all costs. That little flicker of uncertainty may always hurt, but short of someone directly telling you how she feels, showing very outwardly and with much enthusiasm that she likes you, too, uncertainty is always better.

It may sound cynical, even rather cruel, but I think forging ahead on nothing but hope can hurt everybody in the end. The weird thing is (the really, really weird and painful and somehow even beautiful thing) is that the silly voice of the heart still will not shush long after the brain and the mouth know better :(