music, books, love and kindness

Maybe it is the opposite of romantic, but I'd rather be boring than have a broken heart...and being practical and realistic makes for a much better way of surviving in this harsh and very un-romantic world. 

My formerly romantic side used to give me such grief that I am extremely grateful I have finally woken from the stupor I was in for way longer than I ever, ever should have been. Lately, when I see the person I like (or rather the person I still like, but have also managed to gain a huge amount of perspective in terms of how ridiculous my heart has been about all of this) I wonder how I ever let myself care so much about someone I mean so little to...

In life, it should not be a "tit for tat" kind of thing in that you only like someone who likes you back...I am not talking about that, but about keeping one's reason and emotional intelligence intact when it comes to how futile, painful and even harmful to your life unrequited feelings are. With the universe and my conscience as a witness, I am going to do my very, very best to make sure I stay level about this and remember that realizing someone not only does not like you back, but thinks poorly of you does not have to mean your world is over. 

Whenever I struggle with how someone sees me I always think of my favorite show "Golden Girls" and how, during one episode, after (I think) Dorothy insults her, Rose says "Well, that's fifteen more minutes in front of the mirror saying 'I am a good person, I am a good person.'"

I do not want (and hope I never do) to lose the part of me that cares about people in general, but I also would like to just keep my heart permanently closed in the safest and best way possible. 

Some of the ways for me to best get back on the road I belong are: focusing on my cat (whom I adore more than I ever could have imagined), the people who do (?) seem to like me, my job and the little things that give me moments of joy (i.e. "DC's Legends of Tomorrow" is a surprisingly fun, funny and feel-good show that has an amazing cast you would just love to hang out with if they were real people).