music, books, love and kindness

So I'm sitting at my desk on a lunch break, eating the way I prefer it, by myself. I know how cold this must sound, but I don't mean to be. 

I just find socially eating very awkward to begin with (especially in groups, but even often just with another person)...plus, I really, really like having the time to catch up with quick reading or some listening to music with my headphones. Until the recent past, I would spend my lunchtime writing a friend I had become close with over the period of three years, but that friendship has ended and though it still hurts a whole lot more than I want it to, I am slowly adjusting.

Anyway, enough of that...the heart of what I want to say is this: I am so tired of people who are perceived as loners or wanting to be alone somehow being seen as very off...or even worse. That is why I was so thrilled to see this article:


https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201406/the-happy-loner 

with emphasis on statements like this one:


"Personally, I'd be more likely to distrust people who can't bear time with themselves. What's wrong with them that they can't abide their own company – what are they trying to hide in the crowd?"


Actually, I do not really think of myself as a complete loner when I am home with my cat. He feels like a companion just as much as a human would be, only one I am more comfortable with for so many reasons. 

It seems like there are many more articles out there 

(like this one: 

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/jun/22/britain-loneliness-capital-isolation-being-alone )

and that also thrills me. 

I still miss the friend I was writing with and I will always wonder if she is okay and what went wrong, but here's the thing: when you are a loner and have been for quite some time I think it cushions (even if it is just a tad bit) you better when hurt like "ghosting" comes along.