music, books, love and kindness

It's very rare (I think) to meet someone whom you feel really understands and gets you and who is kind and patient enough to listen and truly respond to what you say. I think that is why I (as pathetic as this must sound) still think about the person who ghosted me.

For three and a half years we talked about all kinds of things and related to each other in matters (at least I thought so at the time) we had never discussed with anyone else before.

Though time has gone on, I remain sad about this loss and I feel embarrassed and disappointed with myself about this, but it's the truth. I have a few friends that I feel comfortable with, but no one with whom I talk with like I did this person.

Like me, this person also struggled with feelings for someone in a way that was heartbreaking and though that was our biggest connection and inadvertently how we met, we had many more things in common. We could discuss spirituality, for instance, without complications or judgment and she was okay with me being gay.

Not too long ago, I was chatting with someone in a forum specifically for dealing with ghosting issues and he told me that since closure was pretty much impossible I had to think in terms of having been fortunate enough to have had the time I did with her. In that respect I agree, but I still cannot shake the worry of what happened to her and what I did wrong and whether I will ever find that kind of friendship again.