I don't know why, but I often find myself playing songs from my past on quiet Sunday afternoons or during evenings after a day that was a bit trying. 

It's weird 'cause I didn't particularly like the 80s that much personally (bad memories and stuff like that), but I find lately that I love the music from that era more than ever.

Very few decades offered such oddities and talent (often in the same package, but not always) with such distinctive and easily recognizable fashion and hairstyles.

I'm not sure why I've been Wham-obsessed lately. I downloaded "Credit Card Baby" off of iTunes a few weeks ago and thought I'd laugh my head off, but it's actually a cute little song and brings back memories of shutting myself off from the world in my bedroom as a kid, where I danced all my worries away. 

That, for me, was what was great about the 80s...no matter how crappy things could get personally, there was always this outrageously good (and, yeah, sometimes bad) pop culture (whether it be music or movies) to distract you.:)



(this post is set to the tune of "Is This Love?" by Whitesnake)



I’m willing to bet that people (like me) who have never been in love (really in love, where it's a two-way street)  have no idea how it works in reality…that we romanticize it to the point of absurdity so badly it’s a wonder cartoon hearts aren’t flying out of our chest cavities when we speak of that special one.

I think back to the first person I ever thought I was in love with and how even all these years later, I can remember exactly how I felt about her, how her smile and her gentleness swims before my eyes even as I write this now.

She was amazingly kind and thoughtful, the kind of person who is nice to everyone no matter their background, their story, their looks or their station in life. And in a world like high school, where (like, a lot of people, I had my first big crush) this is a rarity that only made her all the more appealing to me.

She had this way of dressing, of moving and quietly talking that made her not only pleasing to the eye and ear, but very classy and chic in a genuine way. She was, right from the start, so much out of my league and social circle that she might as well been a movie star.

I knew that and also knew (oh so terribly so) that my feelings were wrong and totally inappropriate, considering I was a geek and a girl liking another girl (unheard of, at least verbally and in public, back then.)

Recently I saw she was on Facebook and for a half-second all those old feelings rushed up and I felt sick and giddy at the same time.

Sick: that I embarrassed myself with puppy dog eyes and bashful yet somehow still bold attempts to clumsily make friends so much back then that she had no choice but to ask her friends to ask me to leave her alone (but done in a sensitive way, again...so unlike the usual high school set of rules that would normally have called for something much harsher.)

Giddy: that she seemed to be doing well in life and "hey, whatever happened to?" was getting some closure right before my eyes.

Given the poor way I handled things way back then, there is no way I would ever Facebook her or even re-visit her page (it already feels so invasive that I visited it even once). But I would like to think that she really is happy and healthy and that just as time has mostly been kind to me, it has also been kind to her and that she would have no memory of how I was back then.

A crush like this pretty much answers no to the question "Is This Love?," but at the time (as it often does for so many victims of unrequited love and crushes) it sure felt like yes.

Ooh, the pleasures of food *orn...reading about these sandwiches is almost as good as eating them:

(Check out the luscious-looking one by Court Street Grocers)

see here

and (oh my!)...>>>>

some really good-looking food:

here

Am I missing something? I must be. Because the rush of accolades for Nevermind in the August issue of Spin is nothing sort of astronomic and I just don't understand why.

Of course, it probably would help if I'd heard Nirvana's album when it first came out twenty years ago, but somehow I missed that. I think I was busy somewhere else, buried away studying in college, or possibly (because that year is very blurry in my mind) spirited away somewhere else.

I actually like "Smells Like Teen Spirit" (even if the title makes me want to reach for deodorant for some odd reason) as well as "In Bloom" and "Something in the Way," but really most of it sounds like any old 90s garage band to me.

I've known people who speak of Nevermind in hushed whispers and the more I listen to "Come As You Are" the more I feel hypnotized so I guess I get some of the altered state appeal.

What I did thoroughly enjoy listening to is Spin's tribute album...called Spin Presents Newermind: A Tribute. I listened to the original album several times to get a feel for it, then I listened to

this

(This post is a bit different than my other ones, but this book really caught my eye and I wanted to write about it...I apologize if this post is offensive to anyone or too out of kilter from what I normally blog.)

Yesterday I was looking for books on anorexia when I thought I'd found one new to me. The title was listed (when I did a search on iBooks) as _Sexual Anorexia_ . At first I thought I'd found something related to my search. I have been reading about eating disorders for years and have never found a lot of information on sexual issues related to anorexia, bulimia or binge-eating disorders. Finally, there is one. Or so I thought.

_Sexual Anorexia_ is not only not about anorexia, it actually hijacks a term that has been used exclusively for years to relate to one of the most dangerous eating disorders around and certainly the one with the highest death rate. You can go without sex and not die, but you cannot go without food and still survive.

Only in America can attitudes about sex be so conflicting. If women want it too much, they're 'sluts' or 'nymphomaniacs." If they want it too little (or not at all) they're 'cold fish' or repressed.

I can understand that "sexual anorexia" can be a problem within a relationship where two people together are trying to be physically and emotionally intimate and one of them shies away from it. That is of concern, especially to the person who wants a mutually loving partner.

What I can't understand is why people immediately want to stigmatize asexuality (no interest in either sex) or a celibacy (where you may be interested, but choose not to be active) that is completely voluntary and stress-free.  There is nothing wrong with not wanting sex in your life...

Still, once I found the book I kind of wanted to read it anyway, though I have no personal reasons for doing so. I discovered as I kept on reading that a) the author is very sincere and well-intentioned and b) she means no ill will by using the term "anorexia" here. She is trying to make it clear that she considers withdrawing from any kind of sexual behavior or interest a serious sign of something much worse.

Since I had never heard of this term before I did a Google search and found this old New York Times article (of which the comments section is a particularly compelling read) :


read here