One good thing about insomnia (if you had to find one)? The ability to read when you might not otherwise have the time. So far I am finding this compact read (it's only 163 pages) absolutely mesmerizing and completely in keeping with its title...more later:)

The author's frequent use of dangling modifiers in the beginning distracted me, but once that got under control and the compelling plot, lovely characters and excellent dialogue took over, I found myself falling into this beautifully sad story.

Very sweet, though often emotionally exhausting (I had to put it down at various times and watch Golden Girls), Give Me A Reason is well worth the read. The very last part of the epilogue seems like a small slap in the face and quite unnecessary, but the heart of the love story (plus great character development) keeps everything together.

Lyn Gardner creates a very convincing atmosphere (through the torment and phobias Toni suffers from and the amazing mutual love she finds with Laura) and situations that make you experience everything from tears to laughter to intense sympathy.

But just when you think you can relax and enjoy all the hard-won happiness and love, you're left hanging...luckily the hope that is infused throughout gives you reason to believe it will all work out okay.

I have to admit I struggle with being nice to mean people. It's so easy to be nice to nice folks, not so much with those who aren't. 

For me, it's not a deep need for revenge ("You want mean, I'll give you mean!") as it is this irrational conviction that the other party thinks I'm an idiot for even trying to talk to them. "Would you please just shut up?" some people seem to be saying with their eyes. "And just answer my simple question. Don't give me the novel when I want Cliff Notes."

When I get flustered, though, I immediate start babbling like a brook and things just get worse. 

If anything, I don't find myself hating those who can be "mean" (maybe they're having a really bad day and that's just their reaction to stress) but being intrigued. What could be going on in their lives that makes seem act like a Dickens's character? Surely, deep down inside them someone nice is hiding.

There's a huge difference between grumpy meanness and something much darker and intentional. As Blanche Dubois says in A Streetcar Named Desire, "Deliberate cruelty is not forgivable. It is the one unforgivable thing in my opinion."


How To Be Nice To Mean People

Attention time travel fans: the future has called and it wants back the best science fiction anthology ever written (or it seems so far!) Finding this book feels like opening the best present you ever got for your birthday or the holidays as a child. At over 900 pages, The Time Traveler's Almanac has something for everyone, even the non-sci-fi fan. Be ready to be awed! :) 

I know the U2 song "With Or Without You" is not about children and parents, but sometimes it's the only song I can think of to relate to not getting along with family, even when you love them.

Walking On Eggshells is a book I just discovered and it seems like it's going to be helpful. Adult children can feel like they're ten again when they visit their parents, even it's just for a day. Being ten again sounds cute, but it's not for anyone whose parents still try and dictate every move of their adult lives.

You can love someone dearly, with all your soul, and still not get along with them like you did at an earlier point in time. What your parents ask of you at age ten should not be what they ask of you as an adult.

My dad and I have never been close...he's such a quiet man and drawing him out in conversation is almost impossible...so that relationship has never really changed. His way of showing he cares is asking if my car is all ready for winter or if my computer security software has been updated. My mom, on the other hand, is extremely outgoing with a stormy nature. You never have to guess with her, never. Up until my late 30s, we were very close. Her showing she cared wasn't so coded nor were her emotions, good or bad.

In the past five years, though, it's been tricky. I want to figure out how to make my parents happy without sacrificing myself. I don't want to be selfish, but I don't want to be smothered either. I miss the mother I knew growing up, who was a free thinker and loved music and dancing and...well, just living. She believed in God, but didn't believe that meant shutting down from all forms of earthly enjoyment. Now, if it  isn't Old Testament, she won't have anything to do with it.

I'm hoping Walking With Eggshells can help me. If not, I'll keep looking for more books that can help. Because it's clear my parents are not going to change the way they worry and question my every decision, the way they want me to believe in God, so I've got to change how I react to and behave with them.