Ichabod Crane on credit cards...

Another tv show I've become quite fond of is Fox's "Sleepy Hollow." Tom Mison is just so endearing as Ichabod Crane and his views on contemporary society (he's been awakened from his own 18th century time into ours) are priceless:
 

"And that building is also a Starbucks?"

Ichabod: "That building used to be a livery stables."
Abbie: "Yeah? Well, now it's a Starbucks. Where they make coffee."
Ichabod: "And that building is also a Starbucks?"
Abbie: "Yep."
Ichabod: "Well, how many are there?"
Abbie: "Per block?"
Ichabod: "Is there a law?"   

 

"My God. Where did you procure such massive quantities of reserves? Is there a nearby citadel?"

Ichabod: "My God. Where did you procure such massive quantities of reserves? Is there a nearby citadel?
Abbie: "Supermarket—called Buy Plus. Buy in bulk, spend less; I will take you there someday."   

On the price of doughnuts:

Ichabod: "I understand, to you it sounds ..."
Abbie: "Insane when spoken out loud."
Ichabod: "No, what's insane is a 10 percent levy on baked goods. You do realize the Revolutionary War began on less than 2 percent? How is the public not flocking to the streets in outrage? We must do something."
Abbie: "Here's what we can do. No more firsthand accounts of witches or Founding Fathers or doughnut tax outrage unless you want to be sent back to the asylum."
Ichabod: "Point taken."
 

I think of all the new shows I've seen so far this season, I enjoy "The Mysteries of Laura" the most. Debra Messing is very likable (and realistic) as a woman balancing career and motherhood. 

There are so many special touches that make it endearing and not just another crime show. Laura's kids, for instance, would basically be extremely misbehaved "brats," if not for how much they love their mom and she them. 

Laura's ex (played nicely by Josh Lucas) has clearly made some bad mistakes as a husband, but the chemistry between Messing and Lucas is pleasant, instead of the nasty vibe the writers could have gone for with a divorced couple.

The critics absolutely, positively hate it and I suppose I can see some of their arguments, but the thing is "The Mysteries of Laura" seems sincere and is quite sweet at times and I just don't think there are enough of those kind of programs on tv right now.

I like that it's not perfect (though the mysteries could be stronger, it's more about the journey than the destination), that Messing's character is sometimes messy with her clothes and not a size 0 and (especially in the most recent episode "The Mystery of The Biker Bar")that she cares about people in a way that doesn't come across as overly sentimental or manufactured.

There may be no love from the critics, but ratings are decent so far and Twitter and blog posts suggest that lots of women definitely like it. As far as claims go that it's not particular feminist-friendly, I'm not going to worry about that right now unless something horribly archaic happens. :)


(For a look at how "The Mysteries of Laura" is doing in the ratings go here:http://thefutoncritic.com/ratings/2014/10/02/the-mysteries-of-laura-retains-93-percent-of-last-weeks-regular-slot-debut-in-adults-18-49-rating-838311/20141002nbc01/)

I was watching NBC's "The Mysteries of Laura" (I know the critics don't like it much, but I just adore it !) tonight when one particular scene stuck out for its use of a Jewel song that once struck chords of fear in me whenever I'd hear it.

For many of us a song from our past can either make or break us. This time, though, I was glad for the unexpectedness of hearing something that used to remind me of a sad time in my life.

I didn't flinch or even think of the song in terms of memory, it became a song again. And, I remembered, when the song first came out I thought I'd never get past that...past being hurt so badly by someone it forever changed the way I interacted with (or trusted) anyone who showed even the slightest interest in me.

This person and I had been good friends, or so it seemed, but I've always been grateful we never became more for reasons too complicated to mention. In the beginning I would have loved if things had worked out, it was kind of what I'd wished for, but finding out her true nature reminded me there's a reason people say be careful what you wish for.

Realizing we can survive our personal histories makes me think of "this too shall pass," which is one of my favorite sayings, ever, and something I like to believe is very much true.

Another adage that calms me (most of the time, though occasionally it can also be patronizing) is "things happen--or don't--for a reason."

There are people we're going to meet along the way that we would love to get to know better, but just aren't meant to. As painful as unrequited love can be, I'd rather have a crush on someone sincere who is also nice and kind, but obviously could and would never feel the same, than have feelings for someone who reached out with an interest that turned out to just be hiding lies and ulterior motives.

Sometimes, if we're lucky, we realize before it's too late that knowing someone wonderful and unique is a part of our lives, however casual or non-mutual that part is, is more than enough.

Asexuality is a topic not discussed often, especially in public circles, but I think it's an important one and definitely not something to be dismissed as someone's "imagination" or "confusion" or the result of a history of sexual abuse. It's very much real and the subject of a new book called The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality.

Having read about asexuality before and seen many comments on various online articles, I'm shocked at both the meanness and lack of understanding about it, especially by members of the gay and lesbian community who have responded. Nowhere in this article (at least that I can see) is the author comparing how difficult it is to be gay (i.e. facing ostracization, hate or even violence from family, friends and strangers) with what it's like to be asexual.

There also seems to be some leaps to mixing up asexuality with celibacy, which is a different thing. The former is a complete lack of interest while the latter is a commitment to not giving in to any sexual activity, even if the compulsion is strong. 

One aspect I find intriguing is that a person can still be considered asexual if she has romantic feelings for someone, but not sexual ones. It makes perfect sense to me. Sex without love would be meaningless, but love without sex is not. Of course, there are asexuals who are also considered aromantic.

Not wanting to be in a relationship or married should be just as acceptable as the opposite. Asexual, bisexual, heterosexual or homosexual, we all still care a lot about the people in our lives. We should all be allowed to be true to our nature as long as we're not hurting anyone, but apparently asexuality is as appalling to some people as much as being gay is to others.

To read the article (and comments following it) you can go here:

http://op-talk.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/09/24/why-asexuals-dont-want-to-be-invisible-anymore/

There's a helpful and insightful review on it as well:

http://markcarrigan.net/2014/06/24/the-invisible-orientation-an-introduction-to-asexuality/

Wednesday, odds and ends...

My very favorite "Simpsons" ever is the one where Marge tells Bart, Lisa and Maggie how she and Homer met and fell in love. Called "The Way We Was," it aired during the second season and is such a sweet episode, nicely capturing how vulnerable (and stupid) love can make us. 

No matter how many times I see it, I always sigh a little. 

Throughout the episode Homer does some dumb things, but his heart is always in the right place and when he fears he's lost Marge to someone else, he becomes despondent. I think I've always liked the episode not only for its romanticism, but for how easy it is to relate to someone doing silly things because they like someone so much...



Speaking of  "silly" and "love," I read this great article.

(I think it's okay to always like the person you have feelings for, as long as you keep things in perspective and focus more on the genuine admiration and caring you have for them and less on the romantic side and the ridiculously impossible.)

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/04/my-5-tricks-for-coping-with-unrequited-love-leslie-vos/

Some of the best advice from it:

-"Sitting and crying at home will not give us anything good anyway, so why not spend some time with interesting people? Just try to live life in full. Ask a friend for a dinner, or drink some coffee with a colleague you want to know better. If you are in love now, there will be no risks to crush on someone new. Just relax and get pleasure from conversation with interesting people. They may become your very good friends in the future."

- "I open my heart and mind to real love which will definitely be mutual this time." (Real, in the sense it could actually happen, not as in the opposite of fake. I think it's actually harder to get over your feelings when others tell you they're not real. Unrequited love has no chance of ever becoming a relationship, obviously, but knowing and fully accepting that doesn't make it go away immediately. Opening your heart and mind to other people and things is, thankfully, not the same thing as jumping right into a relationship with a new person just to get over someone else. As a single person who has learned to make peace with being single, I'm not sure relationships are always the answer for finding happiness nor necessarily right for everyone. Sometimes the best way to get through pain is to make peace with yourself first and then with the things that are hurting you...)

...just some Wednesday ramblings. :)

Elephant Journal is a terrific website, not just for matters of the heart:

http://elephantjournal.com