Thursday, February 5, 2015
I am enjoying Do You Know Who You Are?: Discover The Real You. I'm at this point right now where I'll take any (good) self-help book I can find.
This one seems to be geared for the younger crowd, but it still has lots of helpful information and I'm intrigued by the section on different kinds of attraction and being drawn to certain people.
The part to the right ("like it or not, we all tend to change our behavior somewhat depending on who we're with") is so true! And the role model aspect (a huge part of why I like the person I do) makes perfect sense.

I have a million things on my mind and nothing I can do about them tonight so why not immerse myself in the scary and strange? Plus, my niece is reading 1984 for her English class and I want to be able to talk about it with her since we often have the best conversations about music, movies and books.
Anyway...I'd forgotten Orwellian specifics like thoughtcrime, doublespeak, Newspeak, children that frighten and report their own parents, slogans like "War Is Peace/Freedom Is Slavery/Ignorance Is Strength." The novel does still creep me out as much as I remember which is probably why I'm listening to Yellow Submarine and With A Little Help From My Friends cover albums to counter the hate of 1984's world with the love of Beatle-inspired music.
I'm also doing some background searches and I found this old New York Times article about a tv special that aired on CBS in 1983. It's not really relevant to understanding the book more, but it is kind of interesting to think back to the early 80s and wonder what the future was going to be like.
The line about having the technology of 1984, but not the intent is chilling...and when you think about how much more technology (and so many cameras, everywhere!) we have more than thirty years later, it's downright alarming.
"1984 Revisited"
(June 7, 1983)
By JOHN CORRY
IT has always been unclear whether George Orwell thought of ''1984'' as a warning, prophecy or satire, or even, as the writer Anthony Burgess says he did, as ''a kind of game, a horrible game.'' On the other hand, it may not matter. Orwell's novel resonates in the popular culture, anyway. The title is a synonym for the death of privacy, the end of freedom. Orwellian, as an adjective, means dehumanizing and bureaucratic. How close are we now to an Orwellian world? Walter Cronkite looks for an answer in ''1984 Revisited,'' on CBS-TV at 8 o'clock tonight.
Mr. Cronkite is an inspired choice for this. For years he has been a familiar presence, sharing and interpreting for us the great events of our time. Moreover, he has been a reassuring, trustworthy presence. If Mr. Cronkite has looked worried, we have worried. If he has seemed pleased, we have been pleased. In a benign way, he has been very much like Orwell's Big Brother, a constant electronic visitor, with perhaps the most recognized face in the country.
Therefore, viewers will note that Mr. Cronkite seems concerned, but not overly worried, that Orwell's nightmare vision of dictatorship will soon overtake us. Judging by the evidence on ''1984 Revisited,'' Mr. Cronkite's reaction is probably correct. The technology for dictatorship may exist in America; the will to apply the technology hasn't yet surfaced. Vigilance, Mr. Cronkite suggests, will protect our future.
Other nations are not so fortunate. Orwell's Oceania used torture to enforce policy. A spokesman for Amnesty International says in an interview that his organization has acted on cases of torture in 60 countries. Oceania, meanwhile, rewrote history, creating unpersons. A slogan of Big Brother's party said: ''Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.''
Similarly, the Soviet Union has rewritten its history, making unpersons, for example, of Trotsky and Lavrenti Beria. Revisionism goes on in democratic countries, too. Japanese high-school textbooks, Mr. Cronkite notes, omit the 1937 massacre known as the ''Rape of Nanking'' and dismiss the invasion of Manchuria as an ''incident.''
In the United States, the author Frances Fitzgerald says in an interview, textbooks have tried to ignore the Vietnam War. This isn't pursued on ''1984 Revisited,'' however, presumably because there is a great gap between the systematic, enforced rewriting of history and the half-hearted rewriting of publishers who pander to the whims of school boards. Indeed, much of ''1984 Revisited'' deals not so much with the threat to our civil liberties as the appearance of the threat, not so much with what is as what could be.
Certainly it is true, as ''1984 Revisited'' says, that electronic surveillance grows, that computers run large parts of our society, and that chemicals can alter our minds in frightening ways. These are potential threats to our liberties, although the larger threat may lie in how easily they have been allowed to enter our lives. One wishes that ''1984 Revisited'' had examined the complaisance, the eagerness even, with which we embrace the new technologies.
Orwell, in his frequent paeans to the common sense of the ordinary British citizen, admired a kind of crankiness that would not have tolerated these intrusions. Whatever happened to the crankiness? In a telling aside, Mr. Cronkite points to eight boxes, shoebox sized, and says they hold all of Orwell's personal papers - letters, memos, a checkbook, a press card. Orwell was not a man to leave his private life lying about. But if he were living in America today, as Mr. Cronkite notes, the computer printouts on his life, from Government and private sources, would fill a room.
''And such printouts,'' Mr. Cronkite says, ''put us a lot closer to Orwell's vision of a world without privacy.'' They do indeed; they also contribute to a kind of homogenization of America, the submerging of personal identities - the essence of Orwell's Oceania. Television, with its enormous power to both define and promulgate the culture, helps in the homogenization, too. ''1984 Revisited'' is serious and responsible in its exploration of an Orwellian world. One might wish it had pushed its exploration further.
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
This page is from a book I'd rather not share the title of since it sounds kind of hokey (Ten Things Dead People Would Like To Tell You by Mike Dooley). I grew up believing that people pass on to Heaven and do not linger behind to chat with the living.
Of course, technically, Heaven isn't scientifically proven yet and ghosts may exist (the only people who know for sure aren't here to tell us)...it's just (personally) I don't believe in them.
Anyway, I still like some of what the author has to say despite the title. I like that here he places "to love" before "to be loved." I'm not always vocal with love, but I feel it a lot and the more I'm not sure if it's wanted on the other end, the less likely I am to say anything goofy out loud. Once it's out there and the look of horror is sitting there (in complete misery) on his or her face, you can hardly say "just kidding!"
That's why the Deepak Chopra quote below caught my eye. I don't know his work that well, but what I have seen of his writing strikes me as peaceful and coming from a good place.
And part of why I like what he says here is because I try to follow it whenever possible. I'll admit it's sometimes harder to wish 'mean' people well, but I do try and it's always easy (and often the better way if I'm not sure of the other's feelings) to send out warmth and good thoughts to people I do love. :)
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
This is something I totally, 100% more than get...and it, for me, gets right to the heart of heartache. I don't mind that the elusive "you" doesn't love me back (of course I get that), it's that I don't know what to do with feelings of love I worry more and more each day will never completely go away.
It's also knowing that love is not only not returned, it's most determinedly unwanted...even if no strings are attached. It doesn't feel that good: to not be wanted nor even needed...to be adrift in a sea of purposelessness that is only calmed when you are absolutely sure you are bothering no one...which is best done, I think, when you make peace with yourself and that maybe you're just one of those people who will always be single.
I know my issues stem from more than just not being attractive. Experts say that the way parents talk to their children sets up their "inner voice" for many years down the road. My parents never said anything cruel to either my sister or me. They might not have been the most lovey dovey of parents, but they always did right by us as best they could, always.
I don't know why I think bad things about myself or only seem to silence that negativity or anxiety when I have my mind in a good book or music or am around the few people I feel at home with...
I refuse to blame the "mean" kids from back when I was in middle school. I'm not even sure they were all that wrong. Maybe, in fact, they saw my solitary future before I did, even if they weren't 100 percent accurate. "You'll never have a boyfriend, you're so ugly." was a chief refrain, though only amongst other girls.
I wanted to laugh and tell them the joke was on them, but what kid in her right mind would "come out" (a term not used that much back then anyway) to her classmates in the early 80s? Besides, I only suspected, I didn't even know what I was feeling had a name until I was in high school.
I think of children who are bullied today and I hope and pray, with all my heart, that teachers are aware and intervene and, most importantly after intervention, are kind and tactful about how they handle it.
When I was growing up the adults at school almost always looked the other way and this upset me far more than the actual bullying did. A boy I used to know (whom I wondered and worried about) was picked on a lot more than me (even physically) and the teachers on cafeteria duty never did a thing about it. His situation was far worse than mine.
Below are two websites I find helpful. The first makes a connection between having red hair and being bullied and the second site is about getting past one's looks:
http://nobullying.com/ginger-hair/
http://www.wikihow.com/Accept-Being-Unattractive
I always enjoy reading anything by Kayla Bashe. To Stand In The
Light is wonderfully quirky so far and I'm only sorry I can't stay home
today and read it in one sitting. Though distinctly her own person with
her writing, Kayla Bashe does remind me a bit of another author I love...Charles De Lint. I love
how Ms. Bashe elegantly (and magically) captures the spirit of youth
and beautiful souls.
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