I go on Pinterest way more than I should, but I often find the most helpful things, at just the right time. I didn't even go searching for this one, it just showed up in my feed, from one of the people I follow.

Suffering really does comes from wishing things were different...this is so heartbreakingly true that it physically hurts. The hard part is un-wishing those things and making a life that is more realistic and bearable.

Also hard, but on a much, much smaller scale is the need for me to change "effect" to "affect." Here you have this beautiful advice and there's one little mistake and I'm bothered by that...just another example of needing to let things go. :)

from etsy.com

I know I shouldn't be writing while I'm at work, but for the past hour I have not been able to concentrate and I am off the floor so I guess there are worse things I could do. Though that doesn't help the guilt at all. But, still, better I write here than make a fool of myself in the real world, where I am worried about someone I have no right to worry about. 

Keeping my feelings to myself is the most important thing I can do in this matter. I'll send prayers out in my mind, but that's all I can do. I've been down this road before (years ago) and I will not travel that path again. Sometimes you can't and shouldn't let someone know how you feel, because it can actually be a selfish thing if it's only going to end up making them uncomfortable. 

...because sometimes you can't tell someone this directly, but you can always wish them well in your heart.

Someday, sooner rather than later I hope, I will have a grip on all the silly things inside my heart...because really, lately I find the heart to be a huge nuisance and I would rather not feel anything than feel everything. The Wizard was right when he told the Tin Man he didn't know how lucky he was not to have a heart.

 

For anyone who needs to see these...today or any day.

When I talk with my parents I try to think of the most benign and "safe" things to discuss so we can keep things peaceful. Since my parents are Christian to the point they won't have anything to do with non-Biblical topics, this can make conversation hard sometimes.

They like for me to "check in" with them during the day. If I don't they call my cell phone and keep it up until I call them back. So I usually find time during the day to call them from work. Yesterday I happened to mention that a bat had been flying around and that the poor thing had finally been caught after it had gotten confused and flown into more confined space.

My parents latched onto my use of "poor thing" and I explained that I kind of felt sorry for the bat, though I knew it had to be caught. They said they were worried about my sympathy for it, since bats are "evil creatures."

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. This is the kind of reasoning I deal with almost every day. The safest of topics is never safe with them and I honestly end up pulling my hair sometimes. I was curious as to whether bats are really considered "evil," though, and did some research.

Bats are rather interesting creatures and are not "evil," but "shy, gentle and intelligent." I've also heard that they are very maternal. I always thought they were blind, but they are not...there are so many things I believed about them that are not true:

-https://books.google.com/books?id=jTO23DDYC9AC&pg=PA21&dq=why+do+bats+have+rabies&hl=en&sa=X&ei=Z10AVYf_OebgsAS29YDADQ&ved=0CEsQ6AEwBg#v=onepage&q=why%20do%20bats%20have%20rabies&f=false

-http://www.nwf.org/Kids/Ranger-Rick/Animals/Mammals/Bat-Myths.aspx

-http://batworld.org/myths_facts_page/

I don't know why I feel sorry for bats, but I do...maybe it's the misunderstood part that gets to me the most. I certainly get "misunderstood."

Emotions are both amazing and horrid. This is from today's New York Times:

One innate response to this type of environment is for the child to develop chronic shame. He interprets his distress, which is caused by his emotional aloneness, as a personal flaw. He blames himself for what he is feeling and concludes that there must be something wrong with him. This all happens unconsciously. For the child, shaming himself is less terrifying than accepting that his caregivers can’t be counted on for comfort or connection.

To understand Brian’s type of shame, it helps to know that there are basically two categories of emotions. There are core emotions, like anger, joy and sadness, which when experienced viscerally lead to a sense of relief and clarity (even if they are initially unpleasant). And there are inhibitory emotions, like shame, guilt and anxiety, which serve to block you from experiencing core emotions.

Read more here:

 http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/03/10/its-not-always-depression/?ref=opinion