Saturday night music

"The Beat Goes On" popped in my head tonight so I played it and realized I had completely forgotten how much I really love it. It's the only Sonny and Cher song I can say I think is essential to pop music. 

 

I have nothing against them (I absolutely loved their tv variety show when I was a child), but was never fascinated by any of their songs like I was this one.

 

And it's mostly because of this:

 

Making the beat go on in this song was Carol Kaye , who played bass at the session. One of the top Los Angeles studio musicians, Carol played on hundreds of records, including tracks for Phil Spector and Brian Wilson. She had recently switched from guitar to bass - Sonny Bono would often use her for electric 12-string fills. This song had a very sparse bass part written, which Carol elaborated into the key part of the instrumentation. She told us it was one of her biggest creative contributions to a hit record. "It was a nothing song, and then the bass line kind of made that," said Carol. She adds that it was only one chord, but its impact made her realize how important a bass line could be and inspired her to play more of the instrument.-- from Songfacts

 

No offense to Sonny or Cher, but I really don't think the song would be anything at all without that bass line.

 

emotional Kryptonite
 

Good days aren't so hard, obviously. But on a bad day I need to remember *this* and, maybe, it might be of use to you as well. I especially like "don't react right away;" that is my most difficult emotional challenge.

 

* http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-carmen-harra/controlling-your-emotions_b_3654326.html

Being more decisive and in control of my feelings may sometimes be too much to achieve every day, but I know one thing I can definitely stop doing and that's waiting for (or believing in) things that will never ever happen. 

Waiting is something I've done much of my life and it's time to stop. You don't wait for life to happen. You make it happen.

 

While I'm incapable of being loved romantically (I think it's fact and not self-pity, if you've read your mid-40s and can say this without flinching), I'm not immune to falling in love. I try not to, but it happens; the heart's funny that way, it rarely listens to the rest of you.

 

I don't mind so much that I'm single except I do kind of tie self-worth and love together, whether that's right or wrong, and I feel like I'm just taking up space if I don't serve a purpose beyond existing.

 

They say self-love comes before loving others but I feel like the opposite is true. How can you love yourself if you don't see your own value to others?

No matter what, though, whether I figure out the self-love thing or not, whether I understand the space I take up or not, I don’t wait, I seek...not true love or marriage or a family of my own. Those dreams are just that...dreams. Knowledge and inner peace, though, those are not so unattainable.

 

 

That darn bed! Sometimes I look at the queen size thing and wonder how something so easily constructed and fairly comfortable and totally ordinary can cause so much heartbreak and trouble in the world.

A bed can be different things to different people and sometimes different things to the same person. I wonder if this is why insomnia is such a problem...because, for some of us, we do everything in bed but sleep.

There was a very pleasant time in my twenties when I was sleeping well and had the best dreams you could imagine...where I read there all the time before going to sleep and totally felt at peace. And when I was little I would pretend my bed was an island and I would take everything I needed with me: books, dolls, pictures. No matter what, I always felt safe and cozy.

Now I almost resent my bed because I can't sleep and somehow I blame the poor inanimate thing even though I'm probably breaking every rule of what not to do in bed by taking my computer and books and music with me.

But which came first? The not sleeping or the bringing everything to bed with me? Even my harmless teddy bears are probably on one of those "do not do this" in bed lists you see side barred in sleep problem articles.

The thing is I have tried the only sleep in bed thing and nothing else, many times over the years, and I still don't sleep. It's only knowing a book, or my music, is not far out of reach that I don't freak out if I find myself with another long night ahead of me.

I read everything I can on insomnia and recently saw this>>>The 32 in "The 32 Solutions for When You Can't Sleep" cracked me up for some reason. 32 Solutions? That's a lot of work to do just to get some sleep! But anything's worth a try:

http://greatist.com/health/cant-sleep-advice-and-tips

I have been listening to Billie Holliday most of the evening. I have a 2 disc collection of her recordings and I find such healing in her voice, possibly more than in any other singer's.

 

Her voice...even if I could find the right words to describe it, I'm not sure they would do justice. Listening to her is like finding a balm for your own loneliness, like feeling, however temporarily, suspended in safety.

 

This article from NPR talks, among other things, of how Billie learned from listening to singers like Louis Armstrong.

 

Phil Schaap, curator of Jazz at Lincoln Center, says Holiday "speaks to your heart. She catches your ear. She reaches your mind, and she does this with an emotional power that, of course, is genius and is beyond words."

The emotional power of Holiday's vocals comes from the way she sings the melodies. It's about rhythm and phrasing, which Holiday learned from listening to the best.

 

You can read all of the article here:

 

http://www.npr.org/2010/11/19/131451449/billie-holiday-emotional-power-through-song

 

 

books and people...

So, this post may ramble because I'm so tired to the point of almost being nonsensical. If anyone ever invents a sleeping pill that actually works and doesn't mess with your mind and body, well...it would be wonderful. And if that miracle pill could cause you to sleep and not dream, that would be even more wonderful.

A whole bunch of things are running through my brain...mostly just related to people...like how I wish people would just be more straightforward, no matter if their reasons for not being so are actually good.

Honesty is always better than lies and real hatred better than fake love. And people can lie with their mouths and their words, but never with their eyes and their body language.

And waking up is part of what happens when you finally begin to see things as they really are, not as you long for them to be. And when you begin to see things as they really are, you're less likely to be surprised by pain.

It's not that you prefer hate to love (hate is never better than love) but that you prefer reality to mind games...and, sometimes, books to people. You know where you stand with books (after all, they're inanimate and have already been written), but not always with people.

Personal growth is good and very important, but sometimes it's not so bad to go back to who you used to be. There was a time when I was shy and quiet and always kept to myself and I think I was much happier and more mature then...because I didn't expect much and I found all my peace and contentment from within and not from how I felt about other people.

One of the best places I found that kind of inner peace was whenever I read Charles de Lint's fiction. Somehow I've drifted away from his work, but now I'm back and I'm glad for many reasons, but mostly because (as it says on Amazon):

“His stories are good for the heart and soul…he reminds you of hope and strength and Beauty and Grace that you may have forgotten.”

Memory and Dream is one of my favorite books of all time and I've read it at least five times and am probably going to read it again this weekend. There are some reads you never get tired of re-visiting. And the world of Charles de Lint is always one you want to live in...because it is so often full of love and goodness.

From Publishers Weekly

The Otherworld tends to lurk just out of sight in DeLint's (Moonheart; Spiritwalk) works, waiting for some chink to appear in the facade of his characters' lives and allow its spirits entry. This latest work is no exception; here fantastic creatures gain access to the bohemian village of Newford through the work of Isabelle, a talented young painter. Apprenticing herself to the troll-like master painter Rushkin, Isabelle learns to paint amazing creatures-creations that subsequently take on a (possibly evil) life of their own. When circumstances cause a friend's message to reach out to her from beyond the grave, Isabelle must confront her own delusional revisionist history and decide if she has the strength to use her art, and the courage to do what she must. While Isabelle's delusions and the book's implication that artists are superior beings become somewhat repetitious, DeLint is otherwise in top form here. His multi-voiced, time-shifting narrative (the story spans 20 years) beautifully evokes a sense of creative community, making it almost possible to believe that the rarified aesthetic atmosphere might well be capable of conjuring up a spirit or two.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc.

And because one review alone can't do Memory and Dream justice, here are some more:

From Booklist, American Library Association, October 1994:
It is hard to imagine urban fantasy done better than it is by de Lint at his best, and this book shows his imagination and craft at their highest levels. De Lint's folkloric scholarship is as outstanding as ever; he never lets it slide into academicism or pretension… Memory and Dream deserves the highest recommendation and the widest readership.

From The Edmonton Journal, October 1994:
Easily Canada's top fantasy scribe…a major international force in the genre. Here is a biped who has steadfastly avoided stereotyping in his work from the beginning…de Lint has developed a considerable talent for injecting magic into everyday contemporary life. 

From Quill & Quire, January 1995:
De Lint takes a hard look at reality in Memory and Dream, especially at the personal burdens we all carry. He seamlessly blends urban landscapes, with all their sometimes ugly complications, with a magic that feels so true it's hard not to believe he knows something the rest of us don't. 
 
http://www.amazon.com/Memory-Dream-Charles-Lint-ebook/dp/B00IA9U7OM/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1426883585&sr=1-1&keywords=memory+and+dream