April 2015, Washingtonian

My favorite parts of the Sunday papers always used to be the wedding vows and real estate sections, both for the vicarious living and genuine happiness at seeing others find happiness. Now, somehow, reading both sometimes makes me aware of the huge gaps in my life...home and house.

 

The more I can make peace with these missing gaps (and the more I save, the more I think I can move from apartment to condo or town house) the more I can return to reading both sections.

 

Though I still believe the local newspapers have far more attainable goals, in terms of finding something affordable, I do love both Baltimore and Washingtonian magazines and the articles they often run on the "best places" to live in the area.

 

 

 

This article is just amazing...it says so much about solitude, though I'm still absorbing it all and have a lot more to take in (it's great, really, but very dense in scope.)

Besides the fact that living by yourself can sometimes be lonely, the other troublesome thing (for me, at least) is this thoughtless perception that "solitaries" (to use the author's words) somehow have it "easier" than couples or families. Not only is this not true, but other people have no idea why someone else may be living on their own or what goes on in that person's life.

We all can be lonely, no matter how we physically live. And we all can be very responsible and perpetually busy, no matter if we are partnered or not.

I hope to be back blogging soon. I feel like sometimes things fall right into our laps when we need them most. I found an amazing article the other day about making peace with a life of solitude (as in...you had hoped things would turn out differently in your single life, but they didn't), but I haven't really had time to digest it all yet and I am both asleep and awake and so loopy I'm pretty much almost ready to talk to my stuffed animals so I can't do the article any justice yet. What I most like about it so far is that it doesn't patronize or pity those walking down a solitary path. Speaking of paths, I really would like to tell insomnia to go take a hike. It can leave whenever it likes. I won't miss it one bit.

Sarabeth Tucek's Get Well Soon is a very good album for a down kind of night, or any kind, but if you're not careful, you can get sucked into it beyond what is healthy. That's how beautiful and sad it is. And there are traces of Karen Carpenter in her voice so that doesn't help the sadness factor any. But, definitely, this is worth giving a listen.

It's also one of the most painfully honest and exposed albums I think I've ever heard...especially on songs like "At The Bar" and the title track. A really great review for it follows here:

...Signing off with the title track, Get Well Soon and its creator's state of mind during the making of this album could perhaps be summed up by her own grief-stricken admission: "I knew I was sad, I'd recognised it was bad, but now looking back, I see my mind it was cracked". Where some records are maybe just too personal for public consumption, it's the uneasy fragility contained within Get Well Soon that renders it such a fascinating experience, highlighting Sarabeth Tucek as one of the most candid songwriters of her generation.

http://drownedinsound.com/releases/16211/reviews/4142617

 

I think it's going to be a long night. Insomnia both blurs things and makes them sharper. I think I liked it better when I was listening to the birds earlier. There was definitely an air of optimism in their singing.

It's like my iPhone is mocking me."So Like A Rose" shuffled onto my player just a few minutes ago and I haven't heard it in a while and I forgot how painfully gorgeous it is...it took me by surprise.

Shirley Manson's actually more detached-sounding on this than even her usual (to me, she always either sounds angry or indifferent) and yet it's that detachment that really gets to me here. Sometimes, a lack of passion is really hiding a lot.

This is one of the most oddly beautiful songs from the 2000s. It's from the album Beautiful Garbage.

 

 

So Like a Rose

Song by Garbage

Baby thinks he's dying
Lost inside his bedroom
Mommy won't stop crying
And daddy's always working

There's no going back
There's no going back
There's no going back
On this one

Baby wakes up with the sun
While everyone is sleeping
He thinks he's going crazy
But this could be the big one

There's no going back
There's no going back
There's no going back

Sleeping with ghosts
It's such a lonely experience
The stars are out tonight
Only they can hear you breathing

You're so like a rose
You're so like a rose
You're so like a rose
I wish you could stay here

 

Shuffle just put this on...I first discovered "My Fallen Angel" when I did a search for songs heavy on string instruments. I love the cello best of the string instruments (it's the most like the human voice) but the violin (featured here) is lovely too, of course. This is a simply amazing song, no matter the genre, but if you were searching for one, I guess you'd say "symphonic metal":

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Symphonic_metal