"Love is just delayed pain, isn't it?" asks a character in the surprisingly good and often poignant "Insidious 3." And I would have to agree. She goes on to say we lose someone we love one way or another. Something about being fragile right now and up late with too many thoughts makes this (for me) one of the scariest lines in the movie. It keeps rolling around in my head for some reason.

And the really scary thing is knowing we can't stop loving even if we wanted to...



...which kind of connects to other pains that come with love, like caring for someone who just does not feel the same way and having to see them on a constant basis :( Though this is geared for people who are actually in a reciprocal relationship and then break up, a lot of what is here can still help with the struggles that come with seeing someone you care for on a regular basis and the hurt that goes with that:

http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-Someone-You-Have-to-See-Every-Day

This almost always makes me smile..."Kooks" by David Bowie

[CHORUS (x2)]
Will you stay in our Lovers' Story
If you stay you won't be sorry
'Cause we believe in you
Soon you'll grow so take a chance
With a couple of Kooks
Hung up on romancing

We bought a lot of things
to keep you warm and dry
And a funny old crib on which the paint won't dry
I bought you a pair of shoes
A trumpet you can blow
And a book of rules
On what to say to people
when they pick on you
'Cause if you stay with us you're gonna be pretty Kookie too

[CHORUS]

And if you ever have to go to school
Remember how they messed up
this old fool
Don't pick fights with the bullies
or the cads
'Cause I'm not much cop at punching other people's Dads
And if the homework brings you down
Then we'll throw it on the fire
And take the car downtown

[CHORUS (repeat ad inf.)]

Writer(s): David Bowie
Copyright: Tintoretto Music, Chrysalis Music Ltd.

I love absolutely "Kooks" by David Bowie. On an eerily quiet and somber evening, this song on my headphones injects a little much-needed goofiness into my heart. There apparently is not always a lot of love for this song and I really like this defense for it on a comments section on an article about the album it is from "Hunky Dory":

 Still can't fathom the dislike of "Kooks" and "Fill Your Heart". At least give Bowie credit for having the courage to try unabashed innocence, romance and yes, even a bit of silliness. Bowie has rarely, if ever, been that lighthearted since.

Here are some interesting tidbits about the song:


http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=7882

The most recent episode of "The Big Bang Theory" touched rather well, I think, on fearing change and the possible loss of friendship. That the episode focused on Sheldon being the one to worry about this made it all the more powerful, despite all the comedic flair.

This line in particular really got to me and if only it were possible, what great advice it would be:

I realized I've become too emotionally vulnerable, so, like an operating system, I'm restoring my life to the last stable version.

 

 



Oh my gosh, this writing from the below blog is just so amazing and beautiful and achingly familiar:

As a child she felt alone. She was alone. She turned her longing for connection into mock group therapy sessions for her stuffed animals, lined at the foot of her bed. “So, elephant”, she inquired, “what do you think about this story? How do you think the characters felt at the end of the book?” This type of playfulness exhibited her imaginative inner life and gave birth to an intimacy and connectedness she yearned for in actuality. Otherwise, in the context of the real people in her home, she felt stranded. Her house was missing key elements that she desperately needed to thrive: attunement, curiosity, reflection, unfettered fun.

 http://themanifeststation.net/2015/08/14/on-wishing-things-were-different/

Lately, I just cannot listen to Karen Carpenter sing. Thinking about her life and hearing the sadness in her voice, even after all these years, is just too overwhelming and when I think about what happened to her, no matter how long ago, it just makes me so sad and mad. I saw the letter below recently in a book about Sonic Youth and then I also saw this:

http://dangerousminds.net/comments/kim_gordons_open_letter_to_karen_carpenter

           Dear Karen,

Thru the years of The Carpenters TV specials I saw you change from the Innocent Oreo-cookie-and-milk-eyed girl next door to hollowed eyes and a lank body adrift on a candy-colored stage set. You and Richard, by the end, looked drugged—there’s so little energy. The words come out of yr mouth but yr eyes say other things, “Help me, please, I’m lost in my own passive resistance, something went wrong. I wanted to make myself disappear from their control. My parents, Richard, the writers who call me ‘hippie, fat.’ Since I was, like most girls, brought up to be polite and considerate, I figured no one would notice anything wrong—as long as, outwardly, I continued to do what was expected of me. Maybe they could control all the outward aspects of my life, but my body is all in my control. I can make myself smaller. I can disappear. I can starve myself to death and they won’t know it. My voice will never give me away. They’re not my words. No one will guess my pain. But I will make the words my own because I have to express myself somehow. Pain is not perfect so there is no place in Richard’s life for it. I have to be perfect too. I must be thin so I’m perfect. Was I a teenager once?... I forget. Now I look middle-aged, with a bad perm and country-western clothes.”

I must ask you, Karen, who were your role models? Was it yr mother? What kind of books did you like to read? Did anyone ever ask you that question—what’s it like being a girl in music? What were yr dreams? Did you have any female friends or was it just you and Richard, mom and dad, A&M? Did you ever go running along the sand, feeling the ocean rush up between yr legs? Who is Karen Carpenter, really, besides the sad girl with the extraordinarily beautiful, soulful voice?

your fan – love,
kim