My cat threw up this morning and I can't stop worrying. He almost never throws up. I think in the 7 1/2 years I've known him he's only thrown up four times. 

When he does throws up, I really worry because it's not like him to do so.

I know it's wrong and selfish, but I've never ever wanted to get myself attached to beings or people because with great attachment comes great pain. I have loved every moment of my time with my kitty cat, so I never once will ever regret getting him.

But caring about someone or some being comes with such cost because when you worry about them it consumes your entire soul.

I'm trying to stay up as late as I can so I can keep an eye on him. I don't know how moms of humans get through each day when there's so much to worry about.

What John Schneider tweeted the other day was absolutely, positively despicable. I've never been a fan of his because I always thought the _Dukes of Hazzard_ was a nasty show, because it was based on "good ole boy"/ Confederacy roots and colossally stupid. I can't say I was surprised by what he said, but I was still very much appalled.

Some people are saying that he was intoxicated when he wrote it, but I say that is no excuse. Being intoxicated doesn't make you say things you don't normally believe, being intoxicated makes you say things you normally hold back.

I've been intoxicated before, and I've been tempted to write or say things that I wouldn't normally say. One reason I've never drank around people I like is because I've never wanted to tell them how I feel.

Fully disclosing things has never made me comfortable. Even if what I think or feel is not negative or evil, just the thought of not having control over what comes out of my mouth makes me so wary and wrecked.

Emotionally, all I have going for me is that I've never said things to someone that I feel I should've taken back. I have said stupid things and I have said silly things and I have said things that I wish I never said, but I'm pretty sure I've never said anything that I wouldn't want printed on the front of a newspaper or on social media.

I'm actually kind of tipsy right now as I write this, so this might be gone by this time tomorrow night🤦‍♀️

I am so very grateful to my cat. He is my best friend, my roommate and a wonderful companion, but I know (despite not wanting to be) that I am an overprotective cat mom and I struggle with how not to be and yet still be a force of good for him.

Here is some helpful information I found on either helicopter pet parents or codependency with pets:

https://pawp.com/9-signs-youre-a-pet-helicopter-parent/#:~:text=If%20you%20constantly%20monitor%20your,be%20a%20pet%20helicopter%20parent.&text=Although%20we'd%20all%20love,that's%20simply%20not%20the%20case.

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/signs-codependent-cat-202417871.html

I have never dressed my cat and myself up in matchin outfits nor have I thrown my cat a birthday party, but I have done many of the other things listed.  

 

I haven't felt this strongly about a Stephen King book in years! There are so many great things going with it that I don't know where to start or how to stop my review: Holly Gibney is oddly endearing and one of the best characters to grace a novel in a long, long time. I only hope that there are more Holly stories to be told. 

Rodney and Emily Harris, with their extremely distorted and damaging belief systems, are far more scary and disturbing than any a supernatural force could be and that includes Pennywise. 0_0 I could totally picture the couple being played by John Lithgow and Jessica Lange, if this is ever optioned for streaming or the movies.

 When I was in high school, a boy who sat near me sneered once thst I would end up a cat lady one day.

It turns out that he was right, but for that I’m very glad because my cat gives me a companionship that I never once dreamed I would find during the loneliest times of my life.