I love Faith by Jennifer Haigh. It's beautifully written with a lot of things to say on everything from its title topic (faith) to what is true about someone versus how they are perceived by others to the difference between celibacy and chastity.
Maybe because I made a conscious decision (a promise, not a vow, as one of the characters in Faith would say) decades ago to be celibate my entire life (this is probably too much oversharing, I'm sorry!) I am fascinated with Haigh's examination of what it means to be both celibate and chaste.
The first is easy if you've always believed in waiting for marriage and love (and neither ever happened to you). Chastity (pure in mind _and_ body) is a little harder, especially if you're prone to daydreaming and wonder if you're missing out on something that everyone else on earth seems to have experienced.
It doesn't matter if a person's gay or straight, if he or she believes that sex is absolutely meaningless without love, commitment and (ideally) marriage, then hook-ups have no appeal whatsoever, not even for a nanosecond.
I think I've been in love before, though never with someone who loved me back. I felt strong romantic emotions, plus the kind that just made me want to know them more as a person and someone to go out and do things with while also having conversations that made us each think.
When you get older and then older you start to think it would have happened by now, somebody would have loved you at some point. And, instead of getting bitter about not finding your soul mate, you wonder if maybe that's just how it is and you look at your friends and all the things that interest you and get you excited about life and you realize...things are going to be okay...friends and good books and music and a job you truly enjoy are more than enough.
No comments:
Post a Comment