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Can you will yourself to stop caring about someone who doesn't want to be cared about by you? I don't know if it's entirely possible, but lately I'm pretty sure it's the right thing to do, even if only outwardly.

When you ask if someone is okay and someone else tells you "this has nothing to do with you," it may hurt, but it really gets you thinking, helps you realize your place and how you need to stay firmly inside it.

Closed doors, both literal and figurative, would be more than enough for me to figure out it's not good to push boundaries as to whether someone is okay or not. I would get that in some instances it's just not my right nor my place to care about some people, even if I hadn't learned that long ago in high school.

Meanwhile, when I tried to Google "what to do when you have no right to care about someone," absolutely nothing came up...surely, other people have liked people they're not supposed to...maybe, it's just common sense stuff, which scares me if I'm so clueless that I have to look that up.

I think it's one reason I'm not very good with people, in general. I am so bad at reading normal social cues and I tend to compensate for my shyness by trying harder to be outgoing and friendly, ending up being foolish instead of pleasantly sociable. 

I feel like sometimes I need an entire manual on how to be a normal human being.

And I've realized something else...once (not if, but once, since I have to!) I finally get over my feelings of unrequited love I am through with all of it and I never, never (never!) want to meet anyone I could like, reciprocated feelings or not. To paraphrase Quarterflash, "I'm gonna harden my heart."

It is exhausting...not the caring about someone, that is pretty much okay...what is exhausting is caring about someone and having to hide it, that is what tires you and your soul out.

But no matter what the situation, I don't ever want to feel so silly and irrational again in my life.

I think something my mom told me (when she insisted I tell her what was bothering me and I gave her the generals of it, very vaguely) might help. She said, "Maybe this person doesn't want you to care. If they did, they would have told what you was wrong." 

I know unrequited love makes no sense at all, but I don't think it's supposed to make sense. My whole life I've been going down a one way street in the wrong direction and now it's time to truly come to my senses.

This is a link below to articles and websites about unrequited love. A lot of the info refers to "pursuing" someone. The only peace I can take away from my experience is that I never ever purposely showed any outwardly interest...nor would have it occurred to me to show any.

If anything I have done everything not to...because that's one of the things about unrequited...it's completely one-sided and you know it's completely one-sided.

http://unrequitedlovehelp.com/unrequited-love-psychology