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This is the horrible thing about having good intentions: sometimes they are hard for someone else to read and all they can judge you on is your behavior. That's certainly understandable; no one is a mind reader and even people who know us can't always tell why we do what we do.

If you ignore someone, for instance, it definitely comes across as being rude no matter that you're terrified if you look at them, they will see things you don't want them to see. On the extreme opposite end, if you're concerned about someone and express that concern and it's unwanted, then you can come across as having no respect for their privacy.

When you worry about something you did or didn't do, it doesn't really matter what your intentions were because the results are what have to be lived with for a long time. The unrest and worry it stirs up can make you physically ill and have the other person never want to have anything to do with you again.

You literally (whether because of worry or guilt or unease) can feel "beside yourself." I know when I feel beside myself it's almost like the pain is so intense you have to leave your own body. But I was curious as to a more medical or psychological explanation so I Googled the expression and found this:


...So it’s only to be expected that in such an extreme state of feeling, any mental clarity (let alone lucidity) would have evaporated.

It’s crucial to point out that being “beside yourself” is an unusually wide-ranging, all-purpose idiom. For it can refer to almost any emotion at all, as long as in the moment that feeling (another idiom here!) “holds sway” over you. Totally under its influence, it—rather than your reason or common sense—“oversees” or “regulates” your behavior, even though to others your being so overcome with emotion is likely to make them perceive you as not in control at all.

It might be helpful to enumerate some of the emotions, both negative and positive, that have frequently been associated with this familiar idiom. But first it should be emphasized that what links all of these different emotions is that they relate to extreme nervous system arousal—whether it be of agitation (negative) or exhilaration (positive).

So, for example, you might be “beside yourself” (or “out of your mind”) with anxiety, anger, frustration, confusion, fear, worry, rage, grief, sorrow, or depression. Or, you could be “beside yourself” with glee, joy, astonishment, enchantment, awe, or ecstasy (which typically—and secularly—refers to an extraordinarily pleasurable, dopamine-drenching sexual experience). Just compare being “in the pit of despair” with being “in seventh heaven” or “cloud nine.” For in either case, you’d be “beside yourself.”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201410/where-are-you-when-you-re-beside-yourself