I know I wrote the other day that I did not think it was right to write in a blog about private things and I still feel that way. One reason I had stopped blogging as much as I used to is because of what I feel almost compelled to blog today, to blog right now, despite everything. I am so overwhelmingly confused and in need to have this out in the Universe that I think I am going to risk being inappropriate and write anyway.
I do not even know where to begin, except with the idea that the fear of losing something really good in your life, someone really good in your life, is so overwhelming it zaps all your zest for life. And the things that you can do (no matter how unintentionally) to sabotage all the goodness in your life can leave you feeling absolutely wrecked inside and wondering how it all got to this point...
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