sometimes you have to close your heart when you most want to open it...

and sometimes you just can't tell someone how you feel about them.

I am starting to think that the only cure for unrequited love is knowing that there isn't one, at least not if the love you feel is real. I really do not think real love ever goes away and though there are those who claim one-sided love isn't real, who are they to say so? Do they know what is in your heart? Do they know why it makes you sad to see someone you care about sad? Have they really walked in your shoes as you tread extra carefully around someone you care so much about? People who don't understand and would only judge...well, they can't possibly help any more scorn on me than I have already heaped on myself.

I think most people, especially most people who know better (and I may be seriously lacking in a lot of areas, but I know better than to have feelings I should not have), know that no one would chose to feel something for someone that can never be returned.

So, for now at least, until I can figure out things better, there are only two things I can do to keep forging ahead in all of what I am feeling: telling myself it is okay to have someone in your heart as long as you know and accept they will never be in your life and caring from afar and praying for them silently. Those are the only two things I can do that keep me from hating on myself for loving someone I shouldn't...if that all makes sense.