I am finding great comfort in re-watching "The Incredible Hulk," which aired on CBS from 1977-1982. Bill Bixby, who played kind David Banner, is hypnotic and his character, despite turning into the Hulk, is one of the least toxic men I've ever seen on the tv screen. (And, really, so is Lou Ferringo's character).

During its original run I watched it almost every Friday night. Recently I discovered it on the streaming service Tubi and it amazes me how well it mostly holds up, especially emotionally. Modern technology might make the tv series' special effects seem quaint or archaic, but I much prefer it to CGI.

One of my favorite episodes is "The Beast Within," with this part being absolutely my favorite and also kind of downright adorable, especially since the cub tiger is real and it has been said that they did not want to leave Bill Bixby's lap:

"Hulk Makes Friends with a Tiger"

One thing I haven't been able to give up in gutting certain things from my life is black coffee. I buy a specific kind of coffee to help with my acid reflux and it is amazing:

Boomi Premium Single Origin Instant Coffee Powder - Medium Roast, 100% Arabica, Mold & Mycotoxin Free, Low Acid - 3.5oz Tin 

If alcohol had a way of shutting me down so that everything inside of me started blissfully mumbling, coffee has a way of waking up every thought I have and making anything seem possible. The price that comes with it, though, is amplified anxiety and a self-awareness I'd rather not experience. But, at the same time, there is a smattering of joy that, in those moments, I am very much glad to be alive. I am not hungry, I am not a disaster, I am not all the things I used to rely on alcohol to help soften…in those moments.