Scary how much I can't wait to get home today and watch the episode of  Y&R I set up on my DVR...the last time I taped a soap was probably back in the early 90s!

I've somehow been sucked into the "Patty" storyline (see previous post) and have been watching it ever since I discovered it last week. Stacy Haiduk has been doing a wonderful wonderful wacky job as "Patty" and is quite convincing in playing two different personalities ("Emily" and "Patty"). The very brief and sudden outbursts of despair, guilt and doubt that "Patty" is experiencing is expertly brought forth by Haiduk who is way-too-good for this horrible horrible story line. Funny, but I don't remember 80s "Patty" being so disturbed...remember her being distressed (severely!), but NOT "disturbed"

Even funnier is how in the midst of all that bad writing the discovery of  Patty's journal (left behind between the cushions of a couch) is such a clever touch. It's clear it's (foreshadowing) going to be used to prove "Patty" isn't "Emily" and the one shot the camera panned on showed an amazingly detailed and deranged spread of two pages that someone in props went to a lot of trouble to fill in...odd that Y&R can get THAT right but not the storyline around it...

"Are you an idiot or a stalker?" Meredith says to her inquisitive half sister Lexie sometime early during the fourth season of "Grey's Anatomy." It's a harsh question that's rather out of place for the situation (I mean, wouldn't anyone be curious about their newly discovered half sister?) but a good general question for anyone who has ever unabashedly (and sometimes quite aggressively) sought the attentions of someone she likes...usually meaning well (but maybe not always.)

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt so unless someone is waiting outside your house every night to catch a glimpse of you or calling you on the phone and hanging up, I'm not sure you can call wanting to be someone's friend or asking them personal questions "stalking." I am sure, though, that when you're very young and possibly in love (or at least thinking you are) that you can have the best intentions while doing some of the most thoughtless things ever...

I'd at least like to think that you can be forgiven for these kinds of things and that the answer to Meredith's question leans more toward "idiot."

just started reading this great YA novel...awesome cover and, so far, awesome book...(more soon!)

Last night I checked out Christopher Cross's "Greatest Hits" from my library and I shamefully listened to the whole thing with pleasure. I hadn't really thought about his music in years, but I have always been fond of "Sailing" (it's so peaceful and majestic) and "Think of Laura" (a huge sobfest of a song!).

Little did I know he had done more recent stuff (well, recent as in 1998) like the amazing "Walking in Avalon" (which is still bouncing around in my head). "Walking in Avalon" is probably the oddest sweet love song I've ever heard! Cross even suggests a very naughty 4-letter word that he doesn't sound out but makes obvious by rhyme what it would have been (he hums in the word's place...I love it!!!)

Also "new" to me was the song "Back of My Mind" which really got to me when I thought about life and how we reach that age where we can sometimes wonder if we did things wrong...and would a "do over" be a good thing? The part about not marrying and having children hits especially close to home.

The lyrics go like this:



I woke up to my world this morning
Took a long look in the looking glass
Last night I guess I had one or too many
Somebody tried to tell me I had no class

What ever happened to me
Maybe I've been living on lies
Never really had a dream come true
Then again I guess I never really tried


Now the years all slip away
And things are like they're gonna stay
All the roads I didn't take are just
One more thing in the back of my mind
Taking space and time


Wish I'd finished that book I never started
Maybe that's the story of my life
Should've learned to play that saxophone
So I could tell my song to the streetlight


Shouldn't have been so stuck on my own
Could've had a wife and a child
Should've made that house a home
I don't know why my life is so wild


Now the years all slip away
And things are like they're gonna stay
All the chances I didn't take are just
One more thing in the back of my mind
Taking space and time
One more thing in the back of my mind


So I'm thinking about a walk in the sunlight
I've got to get my shadow behind me
Try and make some sense of it all
With my feet on the ground and my heart still free


As the years will slip away
I'll let the cards fall where they may
And all the roads I didn't take will be just
One more thing in the back of my mind


As the years will slip away
And the cards fall as they may
All the chances I didn't take will be just
One more thing in the back of my mind
Taking space and time
One more thing in the back of my mind
One more thing in the back of my mind

I know I have blogged before about the Icelandic song "Svefn-g-Englar" and how powerful it is. But I just can't give it up or give it credit (there are no words to) for the amazing transformation it can have over your mood, over your psyche. NME magazine writes about the group (Sigur Ros) behind the song: "...so quiet, so shakily fragile, it feels criminal to breathe at the same time as jón þór birgisson sings."

The English words go like this:

Im Here Again
Inside You
Its So Good Staying Here
But I Stay A Short While
I Float Around In Underwater Hibernation
In A Hotel Connected To The Electricity Board And Nourishing
Tyoowoohoo
But The Wait Makes Me Uneasy I Kick The Fragility Away
And Shout I Have To Go - Help
Tyoowoohoo
I Explode Out And The Peace Is Gone
Bathed In New Light
I Cry And I Cry - Disconnected
A Ruined Brain Put On Breasts
And Fed By Sleepwalkers

No song has ever so wonderfully matched word with music to make an eerily beautiful echo of just what life feels like sometimes...and if ever a song sounded like it came straight from a dream "Svefn-g-Englar" is the one!