So I finished Ghosts Of Winter, a book I mentioned the other day, and I wish I could roll my eyes at all the romance and angsty feelings inside it, but I can't...even if it is ridiculous to want something two characters share in a book, movie or tv show, even if most romance is just a fairy tale.

I know it's ridiculous, but I also know what is real and what is not and that, for the time I'm reading a book, I borrow the love.

The funny thing is, though, what the two people share in this story seems totally feasible to me. They face emotional warts, worries, battles and love and it feels real, so real. As Rebecca S. Book explains she sees the "importance of fiction for representing the human experience."

At the heart of Ros and Anna's situation is the uncertainty of whether two emotionally insecure people (one obviously so and the other hiding her fears behind extreme detachment) can make a go of it. Ros thinks about Anna:
                 

I’m awful at making it clear how I feel, so perhaps it was my fault that she’d not understood me.

Not too long after that, Anna confesses:

"Because you handle life so well. I don’t really know why you think I have anything for you. It’s not about what you can give me, Ros. It’s just about you. You’re beautiful, you’re witty, you’re perceptive and sensitive, you’re brave, and you’re a bloody good kisser."

Ghosts Of Winter is one of the best love stories I've read in ages because it rings more real than most from its genre do and because the two women are so likable, if in need of some enlightenment about each other.

Another terrific thing about the book is how every so often there are chapters featuring other lovelorn couples who have lived in Winter Manor throughout the centuries. These couples aren't so lucky in love, though, with one from the 1920s especially doomed to silently love each other instead of getting together and living happily ever after:

"Do you know, Edith, I think love can exist, even when it’s not acted upon,” Evadne said, daring to express what lay in her heart.

I don't know why, exactly, but that's my favorite line in the book.

The best article I've seen about Casey Kasem so far:

 

 

read here

 

 

 

 

 

I loved listening to him on the radio when I was a teenager in the 80s and enjoyed so much the way he'd give back story to so many of the hits he played.



Sunday newspapers...this and that



Spending the morning reading weekend and Sunday newspapers like The Wall Street Journal and The New York Times, I find this to be the most interesting and useful article so far:

"Good Manners for Nice People"

It's a terrific piece, with an emphasis on how technology has truly changed how we treat each other, even if basic human behavior (or misbehavior) is still behind all rudeness. As Ms. Alkon writes in her book:

the essence of manners is empathy. "The missing link in our understanding of conflict is our failure to realize how vulnerable humans are to being treated as if they didn't matter."

Her biting passages are no less insightful because they border on the hysterical: "If you're going to invite someone to dinner and ignore them, at least have the decency to get married and build up years of bitterness and resentment." 

Moira Hogson's review definitely makes me want to read this book!

Also related to manners is this article, with lots to say about our misuse of cellphones in public places. I don't agree with everything Mr. Lazebnik writes, but most of the time he's right on target:

"Keep Your Cellphone Out Of My Starbucks"

 

I thought by now Ladyhawke would be a household name — maybe not as big as that other singer whose name begins with Lady, but still…big. Ladyhawke's self-titled album is amazing, a perfect blend of 80s synth with modern-day heartfelt lyrics and some highly addictive dance numbers to help lift your spirits in between the sad songs.

Jon O’Brien writes on allmusic.com: "Not afraid to plunder both her cool and distinctly uncool record collection, Ladyhawke, aka Pip Brown, has crafted 13 instantly accessible songs, each of which sounds like a potential hit single."

Some of the highlights off her album include "Back of the Van" which is a bit reminiscent of Van Halen’s "Jump." "My Delirium" brings to mind what you’d get if you crossed the Bangles with The Go-Gos. The dreamy sounds of "Crazy World" could have come straight out of "Pretty in Pink" with its Orchestral Manoeuvres in The Dark aspirations. "Paris is Burning" is an irresistible number that makes you long to get out on the dance floor and move.

Whether she’s pining for her true love and imagining they’re together in "Morning Dreams" or she’s plagued by monsters (real or imaginary?) in "Dusk Till Dawn," Ladyhawke’s penchant for retro sounds is surprisingly fresh when so many other musicians going for the 80s sound just a little stale.

Sometimes, I like to clip op-ed pieces from various newspapers that remind me there are people of religious background who don't want to keep gay people from being able to marry the person he or she loves. It really helps me on trying nights, even though I know in my heart (gay or not) true love is not cut out for me and I can live a relatively happy life without it. The above was published in a recent edition of the Baltimore Sun.

I believe, aside from the back-and-forth morality issues I struggle with related to being a lesbian, that I would be single no matter what my orientation. I also believe that a painful past experience can also be a helpful teaching one in the present and that if I hadn't learned it's best to keep your feelings to yourself no matter who the person you like is, I wouldn't know that I should, could and would never let the person I like now ever have a clue, inappropriate nature or not.

Nothing sticks in your mind forever like the look of horror on someone's face when they realize you like them..it's painful for you, of course, but the discomfort it inflicts on the other person and the friendship you lose is much much worse.

Today, I had a major setback (internally) with how I deal with my feelings. It feels like a personal failure and something that externally came across as rude and immature.

I realized I have to find a careful balance between better hiding my feelings for and from someone I like and not becoming cold or distant. In other words: "be normal" as many advice columns would say.

Little did I figure that when I Googled "how to hide your feelings for someone" so much would turn up in the search. There's the always trusty Wiki How (even if it's geared towards younger people) with this and then eHow with How To Hide That You Like Someone. There's even stuff about it on Yahoo Answers.

I think what horrifies me the most about what I found is that all the links are meant for teenagers in high school, which only adds to my guilt that I'm a grown woman feeling this way.