I can't turn it off, I just can't. You can no more turn off your heart's ability to care than you can...oh, I don't know. Right now, I can't think of a good comparison. I just know it's almost impossible to stop caring.

So I won't. I'll just keep my feelings to myself (as I hope I've been) and wish her all the best. It's just really hard to see someone sad or going through something when you know you have no real right to care...or even help. All you can do is sincerely, actually, wish them the best. And pray too, if that's what you do.

I love Buzz Books, both for young adult and adult reads. The spring editions are out and there are some great books coming out soon! :)

You can go into the iBooks store and download both to your iPad, iPhone or iPod Touch.

This short story collection I just finished reading is really...odd. odd as in I don't think I've ever ready anything like it before.

And yet, I think it's actually helping me realize things I should have realized on my own long ago. Though it is lesbian fiction, it's generalized enough that it applies to anyone who has ever been captivated and captured by love.

Beautiful and heartbreaking, this collection of short stories pulled me down with its sadness, but then would bring me back up with its promise of hope and the idea that love comes in many forms and can still be love even when it's not returned. I often highlight in my Kindle, but never so much as this time around. Karen Campbell's writing is stark and painful and lovely and I found it be comforting and unnerving to recognize so much in her wonderful stories. "I don't like the silence at night, i Beautiful and heartbreaking, Little Whispers pulled me down with its sadness, but then would bring me back up with its promise of hope and the idea that love comes in many forms and can still be love even when it's not returned. I often highlight in my Kindle, but never so much as this time around. Karen Campbell's writing is stark and painful and lovely and I found it be comforting and unnerving to recognize so much in her wonderful stories. "I don't like the silence at night, in my blackened room. It makes me feel like a tree on its own. Trees should grow together, like a big family, shading and protecting each other." "...so I turned my music up louder and I drowned the screams in my mind. Music can override every misery." Having first read her work in L is For, I am super glad to have read Little Whispers and will definitely seek out more of her fiction.

Scoundrel Days is one of those albums where every song has something to offer.

<This came on my shuffle as I was exercising this morning...a song that hasn't shown up in ages when I've listened to my iPhone music. Besides the fact that I was up super early on a morning I usually sleep late, I was also excited to remember the words to "The Swing Of Things" by a-ha. This is one of those days when I really hope it isn't too late to make up for past mistakes.




"The Swing Of Things"

You say the world's an eventful place
You give me news
I don't want to know
You say that I should care
That I should speak my mind

Oh, but how can I speak of the world
Rushing by
With a lump in my throat
And tears in my eyes
Oh, have we come to the point of no turning back
Or is it still time to get into
The swing of things

Let us walk through this windless city
I'll go on till the winter gets me
Oh, "sleep..." you wrote "sleep, my dear"
In a letter somewhere

Oh, but how can I sleep with your
voice in my head
With an ocean between us
And room in my bed
Oh, have I come to the point where I'm losing the grip
Or is it still time to get into
The swing of things

Oh, when she glows in the dark
And I'm weak by the sight
Of this breathtaking beauty
In which I can hide
Oh, there's a worldful out there
Of people I fear
But given time I'll get into
The swing of things

Yes, when she glows in the dark and
I'm struck by the sight
I know that I'll need this for the rest of my life

What have I done
What lies I have told
I've played games with the ones that
rescued my soul
Oh, have I come to the point where I'm losing the grip
Or is it still time to get into
The swing of things

My mood today needed definite improvement. It doesn't matter that I had a headache or that a small part of my heart felt like it was actually breaking. Other people have bad days too and are perfectly well-behaved and nice.

I really like this article for improving moods:

 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/6-ways-to-instantly-improve-your-mood/

but, unfortunately, that doesn't bring back today. I hope to be better the next time I feel my spirits falling.

The most troubling thing about my mood, though, was that I let it affect how I treated someone whose only crime is being a bit predictable in what he says each time you see him. He's always pleasant to everyone, works hard and on most days it's nice to see him. So what if he says the same exact thing every single time you see him? He's still a human being, still a friendly person deserving of respect back.

And yet I found myself rushing away from him today, which is what I imagine some people want to do whenever they see me. Normally, I like everyone, but my patience today was so very thin and I am ashamed of that. It's snowballing so much right now.

I'd like to say all my guilty feelings are purely because I genuinely like him and feel bad that I wasn't as kind as I should have been. That's it, sure, at least partly. But's also because I know exactly what it's like to see annoyance in someone else's eyes when they come across you and I would feel just awful if I did that to someone.

I always try to remember how it feels when you know someone doesn't like you and they don't try very hard to hide it. That's not what's going on here, but it doesn't matter that I like him, it only matters that it may come across that I don't.

 

Other related articles:

 

 

The article below is more what to do with people who are "mean" and annoy you, so it's not exactly the same thing. It still has good advice, though:

Give Them a Mental Hug>>> http://lifehacker.com/three-mental-tricks-to-deal-with-people-who-annoy-you-1450235457

 

 Another thing on my mind today was people and their voices and just how much we can control how we sound:

http://mentalfloss.com/article/50360/what-determines-what-your-voice-sounds

 

http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424127887323735604578440851083674898
 

 

(I sometimes think impatience and anxiety can go neck in neck and today I had too much Excedrin. Each capsule is equal to one cup of coffee...yikes!)

 

http://www.cspinet.org/new/cafchart.htm