As a senior citizen she retained her deep love of disco and began solving murder mysteries, eventually writing a memoir called The Name of the Dame…
(Very rough draft)
The Name of The Dame
Chapter 1: The Glittering Clue
In the heart of London’s swinging '70s, Lady Penelope “Penny” Featherington was more than just a socialite with a penchant for sequins and bell-bottoms. Beneath her bouffant hairdo and oversized sunglasses, she harbored a secret: she was the city’s most dazzling detective.
One evening, as the disco ball spun at Studio Groove, Penny sipped her gin fizz and surveyed the dance floor. Her eyes caught a glimmer—a rhinestone earring, abandoned near the DJ booth. It was no ordinary earring; it sparkled like a thousand Saturday nights.
“Disco divas don’t lose their bling,” Penny mused, slipping the earring into her sequined clutch. She swirled her hips to the beat, her platform shoes tapping out Morse code. The message was clear: “Investigate.”
Chapter 2: The Case of the Vanishing Vinyl
Penny’s next mystery led her to Vinyl Vortex Records, where the owner, Mr. Groovy McSpinster, wailed like a broken record. His prized disco LPs had vanished—poof!—right off the shelves.
“Someone’s pirating my Bee Gees!” he cried, his paisley tie askew.
Penny twirled her feather boa. “Fear not, Mr. McSpinster. I’ll find your lost tunes faster than a disco ball spins.”
She followed the trail of glitter to a nearby alley. There, she encountered a suspicious figure in flared trousers, clutching a disco ball like a forbidden fruit.
“Caught you red-handed,” Penny said, her voice as smooth as a Barry White ballad. “Why steal vinyl when you can dance to it?”
The culprit confessed: “I needed a mirror ball for my living room.”
Penny winked. “Disco crimes deserve a groovy punishment. You’re sentenced to a dance-off at Studio Groove.”
Chapter 3: The High-Pitched Heist
One moonlit night, Penny received a frantic call from Lady Beatrice, the Duchess of Funkington. Her prized disco tiara—a glittering masterpiece—had vanished from her mansion.
Penny arrived at the duchess’s estate, her afro teased to new heights. She inspected the crime scene: broken mirror shards and a trail of glitter leading to the garden.
“High-pitched noises,” Penny deduced. “The work of a cat burglar.”
Sure enough, in the rose bushes, she found Sir Fluffington III, a tabby with a taste for disco glam. He wore the tiara like a crown, shimmying to “Stayin’ Alive.”
“Caught you, Sir Fluffington,” Penny said. “But I’ll make a deal: return the tiara, and I’ll teach you the Electric Slide.”
Epilogue: The Disco Detective
And so, Lady Penelope Featherington danced her way through mysteries, solving crimes with a twirl and a shimmy. She became a legend—the Dame of the Dance Floor, the Queen of Clues.
As Studio Groove played its final track, Penny leaned against the bar, her earring sparkling. She whispered to the bartender, “Keep the disco alive, darling. And remember: life’s a hustle, but the beat never stops.”
And with that, she vanished into the neon-lit night, leaving behind a trail of glitter and unanswered questions.
