That doesn't mean I'm not going to try again for this year (I am!) I half fear that the reason it won't go away is because it's love and not a crush (love stays around a lot longer than a crush does), but I don't know much about love personally so I'm not really sure.
I'm going to take the worry I feel whenever she looks sad or doesn't feel well or I miss her and make up someone imaginary in my head to direct all that care and concern toward...because I know I have absolutely no right to care about her, not one bit. Besides that, I don't think it's all that healthy to have such feelings when they are so out of proportion to how well you know the person.
When I was much younger I could make up almost anything in my head with just enough balance to make it a nice escape but not something so strong I wouldn't want to return to reality. I'm not sure I'm up to imagining a whole person, but I think I'll just direct all the silly feelings inside me, all the untapped love, and send it out into the universe.
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