When I had my wrist surgery, which was now almost 7 weeks ago, the ortho surgeon prescribed me 40 OxyContin pills for pain. The label said take one every four hours, which was something I knew right from the start I was not going to do.
Move to today and I have three pills left. I am not panicking, but I am disappointed in myself that I've used nearly all of them, even if I only averaged about 4-5 a week, instead of 4-5 a day, as the suggested dose read.
I get 0 refills and I'm not panicking about that either.
But I am going to be completely honest: I wish I did have a refill available. My pain is still chronic and (here is where I'm mortified) I like the way OxyContin makes me feel.
I am not going to try and pursue getting more, though: I don't think that is an option and, more importantly, I don't want it to be an option.
My plan is go back to acupuncture, which I have used in the past to combat bad headaches and other kinds of pain.
As for the way oxy makes me feel: well, I was able to let go of my nightly glass (sometimes glasses) of wine after I fell and broke my wrist and I can let go of my fondness for the way I feel for a medicine I shouldn't have started taking in the first place.
Bringing it home with me the day of the surgery, it almost felt like I had a loaded gun in my possession. I told myself I was going to toss it after the first four days, but instead I just held off on taking it and painstakingly saved it for only the days I could not bear the pain.
There are other ways to manage pain and anxiety (the bigger reason I found myself liking Oxy more than I should) and I am going to be find them and follow through, ideally in the most natural of ways.
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