Long before it was used as a song for The Walking Dead last year, "The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine No More" by The Scott Walker Brothers was a big favorite of mine. When I saw the commercial for the then new show on AMC chills ran up my spine, the way they always do when I hear a beloved song I haven't heard in ages. And the chills also ran because I couldn't think of a song more perfect for providing a sneak peek at what would definitely live up to its promising preview.

Before I became a zombie fanatic I never really thought about how the genre could be a set-up (plot-wise) for something far more beautiful: survival.  Whether it's the amazingly good Walking Dead (I especially like the character the very much underrated Laurie Holden plays with such compassion and sadness) or the fabulous short story collection The New Dead, I often find some of the best writing is in the zombie 'cannon.'

Last night I was listening to "Invincible" by Pat Benatar and I realized how appropriate it would be for a scene from a zombie apocalypse survival movie (originally the song was used in the early 80s film The Legend of Billie Jean.) And that it turn made me think of an idea for a short story and I've begun writing my very first piece of zombie fiction, which I'm not sure will be any good, but is screaming to be released from my head and onto paper...guess I'm going to give a try!:)

What's a girl to do if she likes to occasionally read GLBT literature, especially fiction dealing with lesbian issues? Apparently, not much, if what is currently not out is anything to go by...lesbian fiction has always been kind of crappy, especially the kind geared for adults, but at least it was being published and even sometimes actually placed in bookstores and libraries (though the latter not so much.)

When I say "crappy" I'm not just talking about plot and dialogue and character development (or rather, the lack of it) I'm also referring to extremely bad editing and grammar mistakes. I used to wonder (when I'd read anything if it had a lesbian in it) if there was some genetic disposition in lesbians that was responsible for bad writing skills.

Older presses like Naiad were notoriously known for either being unbearably sappy or disgustingly explicit.  There was very little mention of actually dealing with what it's like being gay (not acting on the feelings necessarily, but the feelings themselves) in a society that still has problems with homosexuality, with the romantic yearning and emotional aspects that go with it.

In a short story collection by Natalie Nessus I regretfully just finished reading (sadly, the regret was not because I hated it to end) every character in each story referred to her girlfriend as "lover." I have never been a fan of that word (for straights or gays) unless it's directly connected to book, music or art....as in "I'm a book lover, I'm a music lover. I'm an art lover."

Referring to your significant other as "lover" sounds kind of demeaning and in the gay and lesbian community sounds as it's all about the sex...a stereotype people in committed, loving relationships are constantly having to fight in a world that often doesn't take their love seriously.

Thankfully I have discovered that young adult books are doing a much better job. Teen literature actually seems to grasp the concept that not everyone accepts being gay right away and that liking someone else of the same gender is about far more than physical and sexual attraction. YA understands the pain, the struggle, the need for someone else (even if it's only one person) to comprehend what a gay or lesbian youth is going through.

Some of the sweetest, most heart-breaking novels with lesbian themes (to name a few) are: Annie on My Mind by Nancy Garden, Crush by Jane Futcher and Ash by Malinda Lo. I just started a fun and spunky book called Sister Mischief by Laura Goode that isn't exclusive to GLBT themes, but deals with the issue in a sensitive subplot.

Maybe there are people who might have problems with young adult novels addressing such issues, but all I can say is this: if there had been books like this when I was a teen, I would have felt a lot less lonely and scared. With suicide rates double that of straight teens, gays and lesbians need all the help they can get...and I'm pretty sure it's no exaggeration to write that if ever there is a case when a book can save a life, this may be it...

Just some thoughts on a quiet night...I'm going to get back to the book I'm currently reading (Raising Stony Mayhall) which is just terrific (there are zombies!!!!) and has nary a lesbian in sight :)

 

I don't know why, but I often find myself playing songs from my past on quiet Sunday afternoons or during evenings after a day that was a bit trying. 

It's weird 'cause I didn't particularly like the 80s that much personally (bad memories and stuff like that), but I find lately that I love the music from that era more than ever.

Very few decades offered such oddities and talent (often in the same package, but not always) with such distinctive and easily recognizable fashion and hairstyles.

I'm not sure why I've been Wham-obsessed lately. I downloaded "Credit Card Baby" off of iTunes a few weeks ago and thought I'd laugh my head off, but it's actually a cute little song and brings back memories of shutting myself off from the world in my bedroom as a kid, where I danced all my worries away. 

That, for me, was what was great about the 80s...no matter how crappy things could get personally, there was always this outrageously good (and, yeah, sometimes bad) pop culture (whether it be music or movies) to distract you.:)



(this post is set to the tune of "Is This Love?" by Whitesnake)



I’m willing to bet that people (like me) who have never been in love (really in love, where it's a two-way street)  have no idea how it works in reality…that we romanticize it to the point of absurdity so badly it’s a wonder cartoon hearts aren’t flying out of our chest cavities when we speak of that special one.

I think back to the first person I ever thought I was in love with and how even all these years later, I can remember exactly how I felt about her, how her smile and her gentleness swims before my eyes even as I write this now.

She was amazingly kind and thoughtful, the kind of person who is nice to everyone no matter their background, their story, their looks or their station in life. And in a world like high school, where (like, a lot of people, I had my first big crush) this is a rarity that only made her all the more appealing to me.

She had this way of dressing, of moving and quietly talking that made her not only pleasing to the eye and ear, but very classy and chic in a genuine way. She was, right from the start, so much out of my league and social circle that she might as well been a movie star.

I knew that and also knew (oh so terribly so) that my feelings were wrong and totally inappropriate, considering I was a geek and a girl liking another girl (unheard of, at least verbally and in public, back then.)

Recently I saw she was on Facebook and for a half-second all those old feelings rushed up and I felt sick and giddy at the same time.

Sick: that I embarrassed myself with puppy dog eyes and bashful yet somehow still bold attempts to clumsily make friends so much back then that she had no choice but to ask her friends to ask me to leave her alone (but done in a sensitive way, again...so unlike the usual high school set of rules that would normally have called for something much harsher.)

Giddy: that she seemed to be doing well in life and "hey, whatever happened to?" was getting some closure right before my eyes.

Given the poor way I handled things way back then, there is no way I would ever Facebook her or even re-visit her page (it already feels so invasive that I visited it even once). But I would like to think that she really is happy and healthy and that just as time has mostly been kind to me, it has also been kind to her and that she would have no memory of how I was back then.

A crush like this pretty much answers no to the question "Is This Love?," but at the time (as it often does for so many victims of unrequited love and crushes) it sure felt like yes.

Ooh, the pleasures of food *orn...reading about these sandwiches is almost as good as eating them:

(Check out the luscious-looking one by Court Street Grocers)

see here

and (oh my!)...>>>>

some really good-looking food:

here