I just finished this terrific novel called Holding On To Faith by Joy Argento. It's still deeply affecting me, largely because it's somewhat rare that lesbian fiction ever deals with religious reservations about being gay, especially with such sincerity and worry.

God knows I've spent most of my adult life going back and forth between wondering if it is wrong and firmly believing all love between consenting adults is perfectly natural. How wonderful it would be if there were absolutely, positively no stigma associated with being gay.

It would be so wonderful I can't even think about it without my whole heart pounding a mile a minute. The way the world could change for so many gay teens, singles and couples living in a world that still largely ostracizes them from socially acceptable love and marriage.

Joy Argento captures the magic and simple love between friends Faith and Sami so touchingly (their feelings for each are pure and loving long before they realize they have romantic and sexual longings as well) I had to put my ereader down a few times and bask in the beauty of it...I totally can relate to the deep and conflicting struggle between loving someone with all your heart and soul and suffering from thoughts and fears of losing your church, your family and your friends.

I like that it ends on a positive note with true love winning out; I just wish it could happen that way for everyone in real life!:)

Just now I went outside to take my huge Hefty bags to the dumpster. I live in a very quiet, well-kept apartment building where everyone is either over the age of 80 or single and always away on business trips...so to say it's quiet here is an understatement.

As soon as I got outside I was stunned to discover it was a nice, cool evening (it's been so hot all day) and that new neighbors were throwing a party. The smell of the barbeque and the sound of people genuinely laughing and having a good time reminded me that there is life teeming inside and immediately around this building, it just doesn't seem like it sometimes.

The other day I got in the elevator (determined to follow the "eyes forward, don't talk" etiquette I never seem to follow anywhere else) when I noticed a man in the corner. He seemed as surprised as I did.

"Wow," he began. "I honestly didn't think anyone else lived in this building." We both laughed and it was a nice moment.

The quiet around here is nice, especially when you're trying to get some sleep, but it can also be a bit disarming at times, like the end of the world happened and no one bothered to tell those of us left behind.

The new neighbors and their party was kind of reassuring:)

I haven't been blogging lately mostly because I'd rather be reading...so many good books and so little time and all that!:) Plus, I've been afraid I'd be too tempted to blog about what is going on in the world and politics and all the other stuff that can get your panties in a twist. I don't want to be that soapboxy girl anymore so I hope to have the willpower just to blog about my two favorite things in the world: books and music.

Speaking of music, this is a wonderfully relaxing album, kind of what you'd get if Karen Carpenter had sung bossa nova:  http://www.soulandjazzandfunk.com/reviews/1744-stereo-venus-close-to-the-sun-sudden-hunger.html

...A Certain Ambience 2...

A while ago I mentioned my fears in trying Ambien. Well...this week my insomnia proved so bad I decided to embrace a "screw the consequences" attitude (not normally my thing) and brave all the horror stories I've heard about it.

My safety measures to ensure I didn't end up doing something crazy (like calling my old high school crush in the middle of the night having somehow remembered the phone number or driving to Wisconsin non-stop) involved two things: a) cutting the 10 mg dose in half and b) only taking the pill after I was tucked carefully in bed with a glass of water.

From all I had researched, it seemed to me that people who had problems were taking Ambien way before they intended to go to sleep. They miscalculated how quickly the pill would work and thus fell into a kind of trance...or so it seemed.

So I took the Ambien while watching a "Fringe" repeat (oddly enough, during a moment where Walter was praising the effects of LSD.)

Woah!!! The effects (for me) were overwhelmingly immediate and strong....heavy limbs, the conviction that someone else was in the room with me ("We've got to make sure Betty is alright!" someone said) and vivid (vivid!!) horrible dreams. Plus, I woke up with a raging headache...

Still, I've got to say...except for the headaches, I want to try it again...kind of like when a roller coaster scares you, but you immediately want to get back on it again. I don't feel groggy at all today and I slept through the entire night (something that I don't think I have ever ever done in my adult life.)

Next time around, though, I hope for vivid, vivid dreams that are much more pleasant.