One of my absolute favorite poems is "Miniver Cheevy," which suits how much I wish I could just slip away from this era...though not necessarily into the middle ages and with not quite the downtrodden spirit this poor fellow has. For me, my ideal time period would be the Jazz Age.

Ideally...a happy place

I am really searching for my happy place today. I just keep remembering Emily Dickinson's "to shut your eyes is to travel" line and I feel a little calmer.

Plus, I just opened a box of tea and took out a Yogi bag and this was attached...I love their messages so much.

If you're struggling for peace tonight, may you find it as well! :)



And even though "tomorrow" is nowhere near as scary as pink robots, it's every bit as hard to battle on occasion...this song helps sometimes:

Her name is Yoshimi - she's a black belt in karate
Working for the city - she has to discipline her body -
Cause she knows that it's demanding to defeat these
Evil machines - I know she can beat them -

Oh Yoshimi
They don't believe me
But you won't let those
Robots defeat me
Oh Yoshimi
They don't believe me
But you won't let those
Robots eat me

Those evil natured robots - they're programmed to
Destroy us - She's gotta be strong to fight them -
So she's taking lots of vitamins - cause she knows that
It'd be tragic if those evil robots win - I know
She can beat them -

from the awesome album of the same name by The Flaming Lips:

This is probably the best article I've ever read about Karen Carpenter's singing...

photo source: not found

The Stuff Of Dreams: Karen Carpenter's Voice
by Chris Jones for the Chicago Tribune 

The other frigid night, I sat alone on the snowy street outside my house listening to Karen Carpenter sing "I'll be Home for Christmas" on my car radio.

I love that voice.

It hit notes with such surety. Its evocative lower register had a richness that no female pop singer ever has matched. But most important of all, it was such a guileless instrument.

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Carpenter sang without attitude -- but also without excessive sentiment. In other words, her voice was at once incredibly beautiful and strikingly neutral.

Even when her brother's oft-cheesy arrangements and harmonizing fought hard against her honesty, Carpenter's singing always allowed for the transference of longing and desire.

And that's exactly what "I'll be Home for Christmas," my favorite song from this time of year, requires. First recorded in 1943 by Bing Crosby with the John Scott Trotter Orchestra, the lyrics first were intended as a kind of war-time fantasy, as if dreamed by a soldier stuck overseas and dreaming of home and hearth. The ultimate line of the song, after all, is a sad one: "If only in my dreams."

As with her other Christmas recordings, Carpenter's version was infinitely more complex.

Listen to her sing this Christmas ballad and you can hear a weary business traveler shoving past delays at O'Hare. You can sense a mother rushing back to her kids who count on her. And you can detect a lover desperate for a warm bed with someone in it.

All at once.

And although it's been nearly 25 years since Carpenter's death (at the age of 32), the recording will forever come with a certain sadness. Sometimes, it can feel like she's singing about a home where someone is missing for good.

Frankly, the impact of the song all depends on one's mood of the moment -- and at what point the listener is in their life. That was Carpenter's brilliance -- that coupling of certitude and pliability, that unique combination of eroticism and maternal comfort.

This is a song that revolves around a promise. And Carpenter's voice had the unmistakable sound of one who always kept her promises.

When I was single and lonely, this singer and this Christmas song evoked the home I wanted and the person I wanted in it with me. Now she -- and it -- make me think about the nature of my home and its place in my priorities. The world of the song is both a confirmation of what we have, and yet, given the frantic way life goes at this time of year, also an elusive dream.
----------

 

"Live by the harmless untruths that make you brave and kind and healthy and happy."-Cat's Cradle

 

 

I agree that there is tons of love in the world, I do. Despite what we hear in the news and see day to day, there is still more love to be found than hate; there is. And I also believe that people can find if it they just look. They can find it within themselves and for others, but whether they find love that is mutual is a different story.

 

It used to be one of my 'harmless untruths' believing someday love would happen for me. It was only after I stopped deluding myself and made peace with the fact it may never, probably never will, happen that I actually grew less sad, not more so. I'd like to think it's okay to love someone no matter what, as long as we keep things in perspective and understand what is real versus what is not.

I totally get what Kurt Vonnegut means in Cat's Cradle when he talks about 'the harmless untruths that make you brave and kind and healthy and happy.' But if holding on to something that's not true (no matter how harmless it may be to keep clutching at it) is making you miserable, it's time to let go.



 

Timeless, despite being representative of one of my favorite genres (time travel romance), did not really impress me that much. The novel has a clinical touch, rather than an emotional one, and the narrator comes across as a know-it-all, which may relate to the plot (it's hard not to seem like a smarty pants in high school when you're 30 and trapped in a teenager's body) but still is grating.

I did come away with some great quotes that I can definitely relate to in my life:

“Being attracted to someone unexpected doesn’t have to be the end of the world.”


“I won’t run from anything, but some days I do wonder what it would feel like to run toward something or someone.”

Because you unravel me. Because you affect me in ways no book ever has. Because you override my fear and compel me to speak truth through my pain and confusion.

And then I read this passage from Cassandra Clare's wonderful book Clockwork Angel:

“It's all right to love someone who doesn't love you back, as long as they're worth you loving them. As long as they deserve it.”

On certain days, I struggle a lot with trying to be and feel "normal" emotionally and on those days I try to avoid any kind of passionate music. Certain types of music feed my weirdness and my angst, while books calm them and make me see things at least a little bit more rationally.

I tried "Googling" 'guilt and liking someone you shouldn't', but I can't find any information so far. I did find a more general article on guilt, though:

 http://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/health/the-ten-most-common-causes-of-guilt-758506